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Many female students finish degrees in science and technology courses at university, but few move into the workplaces

Many female students finish degrees in science and technology courses at university, but few move into the workplaces MlJA9
In this contemporary world, the number of graduated learners has been increased, who completed their degree in subjects of science and technology. however, among them, some of the girls tend to work after study. this is because of early doing marriage, growing children and some religious beliefs although, some primitive steps can be taken to influence them. Both the causes and remedies are analysed further. Out of all reasons, the foremost one is that most female workers have their family works like arranging the house after marriage after graduation. In another word, nowadays, it can be seen that arrangement of the house and upbringing the child. This both the task have trouble for females consequently they are unable to work at various workplaces. in addition, some religious beliefs such as females need to remain at home rather than go to work. Moreover, back of opportunity to the various sector for the female workers. for example, a survey conducted by mass media had shown 55 per cent of female workers refused to work due to the dual-task at home and the office. However, a plethora of steps can be taken to inspire female workers. Government should be run various campaigns to provide knowledge to them such as aware of their needs at the workplace, encouraging them to give various rewards at the office. By doing this, those students not only change their opinion, but also they would know their self-esteem, knowledge self-analysis of doing something. For instance, in the study, authorities compel strict rules on campaigns about female employment as a result of participation in the workplace are increased automatically. In conclusion, due to the custom, beliefs and children upbringing the female are not able to participate at workplaces. in my opinion, the various campaigns and the places should be offered to female participants.
In this contemporary world, the number of graduated learners has
been increased
, who completed their degree in subjects of science and technology.
however
, among them,
some of the
girls tend to
work
after study.
this
is
because
of early doing marriage, growing children and
some
religious beliefs although,
some
primitive steps can
be taken
to influence them. Both the causes and remedies are
analysed
further
.

Out of all reasons, the foremost one is that most
female
workers
have their family works like arranging the
house
after marriage after graduation. In another word, nowadays, it can be
seen
that arrangement of the
house
and upbringing the child. This both the task have trouble for
females
consequently
they are unable to
work
at
various
workplaces
.
in
addition,
some
religious beliefs such as
females
need to remain at home
rather
than go to
work
.
Moreover
, back of opportunity to the
various
sector for the
female
workers
.
for
example, a survey conducted by mass media had shown 55 per cent of
female
workers
refused to
work
due to the dual-task at home and the office.

However
, a plethora of steps can
be taken
to inspire
female
workers
.
Government
should
be run
various
campaigns to provide knowledge to them such as aware of their needs at the
workplace
, encouraging them to give
various
rewards at the office. By doing this, those students not
only
change
their opinion,
but
also
they would know their self-esteem, knowledge self-analysis of doing something.
For instance
, in the study, authorities compel strict
rules
on campaigns about
female
employment
as a result
of participation in the
workplace
are increased
automatically
.

In conclusion
, due to the custom, beliefs and children upbringing the
female
are not able to participate at
workplaces
.
in
my opinion, the
various
campaigns and the places should
be offered
to
female
participants.
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IELTS essay Many female students finish degrees in science and technology courses at university, but few move into the workplaces

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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