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Many doctors say that people in today's world do not do enough physical exercise. What are the causes and solutions exercise. What are the cause and solutions

Many doctors say that people in today's world do not do enough physical exercise. What are the causes and solutions exercise. What are the cause and solutions PrWxE
In recent study, medical practitioners consider thdy nowadays individuals do not participate in outdoor activities such as exercise, yoga etc. Firstly, I will discuss why human's unable to perform physical task and what are the collorative efforts taken by government and individuals can alleviate this perrenial issues. To address why people do not have physical active life than ever. First of all, in this modern epoch, people are buying chasing money and success to rendering them in the possession of insufficient time to indulge external activities like gym and sports. As a result, they get leads to sedentary lifestyle as well as reeling under plethora of health hazards. Secondly, in passing time, human are become technology oriented and they might be utilize their leisure time on social media not only but also operate electronic games inside home instead of perform outside activities. As a example, by MTI revealed that, many individuals love to spend 2 - 3 hours daily to explore social websites in front of digital screen. Hence, mostly children pose to threat of visual impairment and obesity which also become worse for further life. Nevertheless, there are potential gigantic steps to curtail this menace as soon as possible. In that respect, conduction of various seminars and campaigns to introduce the people to the disadvantages of less physical exertion is another feasible solution. This would result in the provision of sufficient wisdom among the masses to annihilate this problem. Despite of this, masses ought to involve in external activities in their spare time to enhance health status as well as become less technology oriented. In conclusion, although people have hectic schedules, they have to engage physical exercise on regular basis to improve health status and prevent other dangerous health issues.
In recent study, medical practitioners consider
Possible spelling mistake found.
thdy
nowadays individuals do not participate in outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as exercise, yoga etc.
Firstly
, I will discuss why human's unable to perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
task and what are the
Possible spelling mistake found.
collorative
efforts taken by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals can alleviate this
Possible spelling mistake found.
perrenial
issues. To address why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
active life than ever.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in this modern epoch,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are buying chasing money and success to rendering them in the possession of insufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to indulge external
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like gym and sports.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
leads to sedentary lifestyle
as well
as reeling under plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
hazards.
Secondly
, in passing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, human
are become
technology
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
oriented and
they might be
Consider using the past participle "utilized"?
utilize
their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on social media not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
operate electronic games inside home
instead
of perform outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. As
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
example, by
Possible spelling mistake found.
MTI
revealed that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to spend
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
2 - 3
hours daily to explore social websites in front of digital screen.
Hence
,
mostly
children pose to threat of visual impairment and obesity which
also
become worse for
further
life.
Nevertheless
, there are potential gigantic steps to curtail this menace as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. In that respect, conduction of various seminars and campaigns to introduce the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to the disadvantages of less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exertion is another feasible solution. This would result in the provision of sufficient wisdom among the masses to annihilate this problem.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
this, masses ought to involve in external
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
status
as well
as become less technology oriented.
In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have hectic schedules, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
engage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise on regular basis to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
status and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.
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IELTS essay Many doctors say that people in today's world do not do enough physical exercise. What are the causes and solutions exercise. What are the cause and solutions

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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