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Many crimes are related to consumption of alcohol many people think that to ban alcohol. Do you think this is effective measure.what other solutions do you give.

Many crimes are related to consumption of alcohol many people think that to ban alcohol. Do you think this is effective measure. what other solutions do you give. PV8eg
In this contemporary epoch, crimes are escalating at alarming rate around the globe. Some people opine that ban on liquor intake is appropriate way to prohibit offenses. According to my own perspective, there are many other strategies which should work enormously instead of ban on alcohol. This essay elaborates the reasons why ban on consumption of liquor induce more atrocious crimes and also mention various solutions to this problem. Firstly, in view point of many people if government don not allow sellers to sale drugs, crime rate would be decline due to decrease of criminal activities like breaking traffic rules, shoplifting, murders and rapes etcetera but instead of this, it leads individuals prone to several more toxic drugs. Secondly, shopkeepers had to undergo huge losses and they become aggressive against government which encourage them to offend crimes. For instance, survey conducted in India in 2015, reported that instead of fall, crime rate rose 13% after strict rules on alcohol. On the other hand, if rates of drink will increase, it becomes less affordable to drunkards. Hence automatically crimes decrease. Moreover, authorities implement strict laws against not following the rules and give severe punishments for cruel activities, this induced fear in brain of killers. Petrolling in streets near banking sector and markets is necessary to ensure security for community. Cameras can also be used on roads for observation of traffic rules and another offenses. For example, in dubai if someone offend second time theft, hand of culprits cut by law enforcement agencies. In a nutshell, however ruducing use of one drug involve human beings into more poisonous pills still, there are techniques like strict punishments, cctv camera, policeman petrolling in streets which works for the betterment of nation.
In this contemporary epoch,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are escalating at alarming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
around the globe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that ban on liquor intake is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a appropriate".
appropriate
way to prohibit offenses. According to my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other strategies which should work
enormously
instead
of ban on alcohol. This essay elaborates the reasons why ban on consumption of liquor induce more atrocious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
also
mention various solutions to this problem.

Firstly
, in view point of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Did you mean "do not"?
don not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
sellers to sale drugs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
would be decline due to decrease of criminal activities like breaking traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, shoplifting, murders and rapes etcetera
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
of this, it leads individuals prone to several more toxic drugs.
Secondly
, shopkeepers had to undergo huge
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
losses and
they become aggressive against
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
which encourage them to offend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
For instance
, survey conducted in India in 2015, reported that
instead
of fall,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
rose 13% after strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
on alcohol.

On the other hand
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of drink will increase, it becomes less affordable to drunkards.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
automatically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
decrease.
Moreover
, authorities implement strict laws against not following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and give severe punishments for cruel activities, this induced fear in brain of killers.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Petrolling
in streets near banking sector and markets is necessary to ensure security for community. Cameras can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on roads for observation of traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and another offenses.
For example
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
dubai
if someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "offends", "offended".
offend
second time theft, hand of culprits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
by law enforcement agencies.

In a nutshell,
however
Possible spelling mistake found.
ruducing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of one drug involve human beings into more poisonous pills
still
, there are techniques like strict punishments,
Possible spelling mistake found.
cctv
camera, policeman
Possible spelling mistake found.
petrolling
in streets which works for the betterment of nation.
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IELTS essay Many crimes are related to consumption of alcohol many people think that to ban alcohol. Do you think this is effective measure. what other solutions do you give.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
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Task Achievement: 6.0
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  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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