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many countries around the world facing an environment issues such as a climate change that effect of the extinction specie

many countries around the world facing an environment issues such as a climate change that effect of the extinction specie eb8kV
As we can see, many countries around the world facing an environment issues such as a climate change that effect of the extinction species. Some community believe the primary environment issues is the loss of some species of animals and plants. However, the others believe that there are some issues of environmental that more essential. I would like to discuss both of opinions and my own perspectives in those issues. There are some essential impacts from the environment harmful, one of them is an extinction of species as some people believed. Nowadays, we can see numerous of species are losing since the temperature are rising. We need to put an attention on this problems due the fact it will impact of food chain system and it will be damage of ecosystem in the future. For example, Tasmanian devil’s species is one of example of predator that already extinct. The loses of this species highly impacted of food chain system in Tasmanian island. As the result, there are not controller for herbivore species that harm the vegetation in this island. If I am not mistaken, the loss of this species because of environmental impact. From this example, it is clear, that loss of species because of environmental problems have a highly impacted to an ecosystem. The other effects from this issues, that can lead to a catastrophe and it will damage of all of environment. Since the weather and water temperature are rising that effected to a climate change. For instance, burning a fossil fuel created a green house gases, it was trapped to an atmosphere, as a result, that makes atmosphere temperature increase. Consequently, numerous of catastrophic will be occur with extreme weather that damage our vegetation, species, environment, and moreover, ourself. Based on both of views at above, they are have an exact point for this problem. However, with an extreme damage in our conditions that was made by a climate change, government and us need to put attention of this with involved to reduce the fossil fuel burning. This action to prevent our habitat getting worse and loss of all of species in the world, furthermore, ourself and family. To sum up, there are no true or false in the both perspective above about our environmental issues. We need to put attention to prevent catastrophic with reduce a fossil fuel burning. With this action, not only safe our particular plants and animals whereas all of creature in the world will be secure.
As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries around the world facing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
such as a climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that effect of the extinction species.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Did you mean "communities"?
community
believe the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species of animals and plants.
However
, the others believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
that more essential. I would like to discuss both of opinions and my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspectives in those issues.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential impacts from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
harmful, one of them is an extinction of species as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believed. Nowadays, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
numerous of species are losing since the temperature are rising. We need to put an attention on this problems due the fact it will impact of food chain system and it will be
The usual collocation for word "damage" is "to" not "of." Revise: "damage to".
damage of
ecosystem in the future.
For example
, Tasmanian devil’s species is one of example of predator that already extinct. The loses of this species
highly
impacted of food chain system in Tasmanian island. As the result, there are not controller for herbivore species that harm the vegetation
The usual preposition for "island" is "on" not "in". Revise: "on this island".
in this island
. If I am not mistaken, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of this species
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
impact. From this example, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of species
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems have a
highly
impacted to an ecosystem.

The other effects from
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, that can lead to a catastrophe and it will
The usual collocation for word "damage" is "to" not "of." Revise: "damage to".
damage of
all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Since the weather and water temperature are rising that effected to a climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
For instance
, burning a fossil fuel created a green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
gases, it
was trapped
to an atmosphere,
as a result
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
atmosphere temperature increase.
Consequently
, numerous of catastrophic will be
Consider using the past participle "occurred"?
occur
with extreme weather that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
our vegetation, species,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, and
moreover
,
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
.

Based on both of views at above, they are
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
an exact point for this problem.
However
, with an extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
in our conditions that
was made
by a climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and us need to put attention of this with involved to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the fossil fuel burning. This action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
our habitat getting worse and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of
Consider using "all species" or "all of the species".
all of species
in the world,
furthermore
,
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
and family.

To sum up, there are no true or false in the both perspective above about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. We need to put attention to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
catastrophic with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
a fossil fuel burning. With this action, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
safe our particular plants and animals whereas
Consider using "all creature" or "all of the creature".
all of creature
in the world will be secure.

IELTS essay many countries around the world facing an environment issues such as a climate change that effect of the extinction specie

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
414 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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