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Many countries are currently witnessing an increase in criminal activity among young people and suggesting different mechanisms how to tackle this problem while other states think this is a natural process and there is no need to deal with it. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many countries are currently witnessing an increase in criminal activity among young people and suggesting different mechanisms how to tackle this problem while other states think this is a natural process and there is no need to deal with it. q0W3G
In Several nations, there is a drastic increase in the crime rate and many countries are discussing various ways to reduce it, whereas others are not paying any heed towards it as they feel that criminal activity would reduce automatically with time. This essay will discuss both the views and alongside my personal opinion would be given. To begin with, if the government tries to make a nation safer by introducing strict laws and stringent punishment for certain heinous crimes, then obviously, any person would not dare to perform any sinful act and harm others, thereby reducing anti-social activities significantly. Moreover, having tight security and making the police forces more efficient, will further help in eliminating illegal acts, which are harmful to society. Thus, taking appropriate measures to make any city or state a safe place to live, definitely results in a drastic reduction in the overall crime rate. However, it can be possible that if no attention is given to prevent sinful activities performed by youth, it will reduce on its own as time passes because poverty, unemployment, and lack of education are major reasons for forcing one to resort to anything which is illegal and immoral. So, instead of focusing on ways to reduce criminal activities, the government should pay more heed to improve the economic conditions of the entire country. For instance, wealthy nations are highly secure, whereas poorer countries are regarded as extremely dangerous. In my opinion, to instill fear of law, the authorities should take stern measures to improve the overall security in order to ensure that the general public can roam around safely even during the night. To conclude, it is important for taking steps in order to improve the law and order situation to a certain extent but other factors for overall development should also be taken into consideration
In Several nations, there is a drastic increase in the crime rate and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are discussing various ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
it, whereas others are not paying any heed towards it as they feel that criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
automatically
with time. This essay will discuss both the views and alongside my personal opinion would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
tries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a nation safer by introducing strict laws and stringent punishment for certain heinous crimes, then
obviously
, any person would not dare to perform any sinful act and harm others, thereby reducing anti-social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
significantly
.
Moreover
, having tight security and making the police forces more efficient, will
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in eliminating illegal acts, which are harmful to society.
Thus
, taking appropriate measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any city or state a safe place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, definitely results in a drastic reduction in the
overall
crime rate.

However
, it can be possible that if no attention is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
sinful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
performed by youth, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
as time passes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
poverty, unemployment, and lack of education are major reasons for forcing one to resort to anything which is illegal and immoral.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
instead
of focusing on ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should pay more heed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economic conditions of the entire country.
For instance
, wealthy nations are
highly
secure, whereas poorer countries
are regarded
as
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.

In my opinion, to instill fear of law, the authorities should take stern measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
overall
security in order to ensure that the
Consider using "public".
general public
can roam around
safely
even during the night.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for taking steps in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the law and order situation to a certain extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other factors for
overall
development should
also
be taken
into consideration
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IELTS essay Many countries are currently witnessing an increase in criminal activity among young people and suggesting different mechanisms how to tackle this problem while other states think this is a natural process and there is no need to deal with it.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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