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Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages? wBKMd
Having boosted in economy, people’s principle is hugely affected as a negative result. Considerable growth in culture along with healthcare improvement, I opine advantages outweigh disadvantages. A high level of culture is enormously gained, while countries boost their economy as well. Firstly, in most countries schools suffer from lack of proper facilities such as professional equipment in laboratories or libraries. Also, countless talented children are deprived of participating in classes, for the tuition fees are not affordable. Hence, a boosted economy leads to deliberate situation through building suitable schools, or considering adequate fund substantially contributing their education. Secondly, people are enjoying a high level of culture, since governments are expanding their communication zone with others. In other words, communication as a major key greatly influence public culture through transmitting information, ideas, and other important subjects as well. In addition, a suitable platform for large investment is properly provided in order to excel public knowledge. For example, having connected countries, people will aware of multifarious deep layer of art, technology, and science leading to vast public data. Besides, a massive enthusiasm will be created, for people seek for further information. Therefore, the annual per capita studies will progressively increase over country. A strong effective medical care system will stablish, should countries prosper in economy. It means, financial issue plays an important basic role in investing remarkable fund for heath care. Countries allocating particular budget for treatment, are incredibly able to build equipped hospitals with high standards surviving people’s life. In addition, a firm health care system is highly based on accurate research system which completely is supported through growth in economical system. There is a vehement enthusiasm toward this view that excessive attention to financial matter can negatively change individual’s attitude causing irreparable consequences drastically impact next generation’ future. In conclusion, manifold merits will rush countries developing their economy constantly, and it refers people to achieve high culture along with benefit medical care system continuously
Having boosted in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
principle is
hugely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
result. Considerable growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
along with healthcare improvement, I opine advantages outweigh disadvantages.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is
enormously
gained, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
boost their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
as well
.
Firstly
, in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
schools suffer from lack of proper facilities such as professional equipment in laboratories or libraries.
Also
, countless talented children
are deprived
of participating in classes, for the tuition fees are not affordable.
Hence
, a boosted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
leads to deliberate situation through building suitable schools, or considering adequate fund
substantially
contributing their education.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are enjoying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are expanding their communication zone with others.
In other words
, communication as a major key
greatly
influence public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
through transmitting information,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subjects
as well
.
In addition
, a suitable platform for large investment is
properly
provided in order to excel public knowledge.
For example
, having connected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will aware of multifarious deep layer of art, technology, and science leading to vast public data.
Besides
, a massive enthusiasm will
be created
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seek for
further
information.
Therefore
, the annual per capita studies will
progressively
increase over country.

A strong effective medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
will
Possible spelling mistake found.
stablish
, should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
prosper in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. It means, financial issue plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
basic role in investing remarkable fund for heath
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
allocating particular budget for treatment, are
incredibly
able to build equipped hospitals with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
standards surviving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life.
In addition
, a firm health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is
highly
based on accurate research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
which completely
is supported
through growth in
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
system.

There is a vehement enthusiasm toward this view that excessive attention to financial matter can
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
individual’s attitude causing irreparable consequences
drastically
impact
next
generation’ future.

In conclusion
, manifold merits will rush
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
developing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
constantly
, and it refers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
along with benefit medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
continuously
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IELTS essay Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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