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The percentage of overweight children in western societies has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years

The percentage of overweight children in western societies has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years 0AMaG
In this young days, unhealthyness is a devastating issue in every nook and corner. Therefore it has been analyzed that in last decade the proportion of obsessed children has escalated by 20% in western societies. Hence this essay will discuss some causes and its detrimental consequences for this discomforting trend. To commence with, the two major source which leads to grow children fatty are, firstly, food outlets for fastfoods has increased a lot in every corner of the world and their advertisement appeal the young children towards it rather than, eating homemade food. For example, McDonald's, Dominos, KFC. Secondly the instant food products which is full of trans fatty acids and high cholesterol, however used by parents who suffer from daily hectic schedule to prepare food immediately. For instance, maggie, nuggets, half cook meat. This are some reasons through which a child become bulky. On the flip side of it, the hazardous outcome of the above discussed causes are, firstly, youngsters become bulky slowly slowly by the time by consuming fast foods as it is appealing to them also they get addicted to those foods hence, resulting into certain bone disease. Secondly, however, instant food helps out a lot to consume time, nevertheless, leads to the higher collection of fat in the abdomen, as the cholesterol level get increased in the blood. To recapitulate, both aforementioned causes as well as its effects has detrimental ramifications on the children's life so, parents as well as surrounding should put there foot forward to overcome this situation.
In this young days,
unhealthyness
is a devastating issue in every nook and corner.
Therefore
it has
been analyzed
that in last decade the proportion of obsessed children has escalated by 20% in western societies.
Hence
this essay will discuss
some
causes and its detrimental consequences for this discomforting trend. To commence with, the two major source which leads to grow children fatty are,
firstly
,
food
outlets for
fastfoods
has increased a lot in every corner of the world and their advertisement appeal the young children towards it
rather
than, eating homemade
food
.
For example
, McDonald's,
Dominos
, KFC.
Secondly
the instant
food
products which is full of trans fatty acids and high cholesterol,
however
used
by parents who suffer from daily hectic schedule to prepare
food
immediately.
For instance
,
maggie
, nuggets, half cook meat.
This are
some
reasons through which a child become bulky. On the flip side of it, the hazardous outcome of the above discussed causes are,
firstly
, youngsters become bulky
slowly
slowly
by the time by consuming
fast
foods
as it is appealing to them
also
they
get
addicted to those
foods
hence
, resulting into certain bone disease.
Secondly
,
however
, instant
food
helps
out a lot to consume time,
nevertheless
, leads to the higher collection of
fat
in the abdomen, as the cholesterol level
get
increased in the blood. To recapitulate, both aforementioned causes
as well as
its effects has detrimental ramifications on the children's life
so
, parents
as well
as surrounding should put there foot forward to overcome this situation.
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IELTS essay The percentage of overweight children in western societies has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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