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Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think this is good for the world of sport, while other think it is a negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think this is good for the world of sport, while other think it is a negative. Xe78
Sports are being sponsored by many companies in order to advertise their products. Some people consider this beneficial for the world of sport and others are of different views. I am with the former view because it will bring money required for the survival of sports. Sport events are funded by many organisations for advertising their goods. In my opinion, this is good for sports because it will bring financial sports required for the development of any sport internationally. For example, Sushil kumar, a well-known wrestler, would have not represented India in The Olympics, if the companies of his area had not spent money required for taking part in this event. He is from a lower middle class family, so to spend money from his own would not be possible for him. Sponsors for any sport will help that sport to attain new heights. On the other hand, some consider sponsoring of any sport by companies negative. To support this, they say that it will affect the performance of players because they will be distracted. The player will be busy in shooting advertisements for his sponsor, which will result in less practice of his game. The practicing is must for performing in any game. According to a survey, 75% of the players who were performing well, has started facing issues with their performance due indulgence in the non-productive activities and less time for their game. To conclude, it can be said that money is important and sponsorship of any sport brings money required for its survival as well as development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
are
being sponsored
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in order to advertise their products.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider this beneficial for the world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
are of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views. I am with the former view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
for the survival of sports.

Sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are funded
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
for advertising their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. In my opinion, this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will bring financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
for the development of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
internationally
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sushil
Possible spelling mistake found.
kumar
, a well-known wrestler, would have not represented India in The Olympics, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
of his area had not spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
for taking part in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. He is from a lower middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
would not be possible for him. Sponsors for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
to attain new heights.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consider sponsoring of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. To support this, they say that it will affect the performance of players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
be distracted
. The player will be busy in shooting advertisements for his sponsor, which will result in less practice of his game. The practicing is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for performing in any game. According to a survey, 75% of the players who were performing well, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
facing issues with their performance due indulgence in the non-productive activities and less time for their game.

To conclude
, it can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and sponsorship of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
for its survival
as well
as development.
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IELTS essay Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think this is good for the world of sport, while other think it is a negative.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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