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Many companies including the religion

Many companies including the religion VrWJK
It is true that for several people, in many places around the world it is important to invest more money on building a new high-speed railway lines between cities. Others including me, do believe that earnings of the country should be spent on improving existing public transport. To begin with, it is widely believed that trains make travelling between cities much more convenient. In fact, it is faster than moving by plain, becasue you do not have to wait in an airport for your flight. Moreover, in order to visit other cities, people should not pay a lot of money to buy plain tickets, as they have another better alternative like railway lines. Also, trains play a crucial role in the shipment of different products. Even so, the cost of the constructing a long-distance train system is very expensive and this money could be spent more efficiently. This leads to the idea that these money should be spent on improvement of a current trasport system. Although, public trasport is seen as environmentally friendly, for example, the vast mojority of the busses are long-standing and they can cause to pollute atmosphere. So, it could be solved by investing on the new modern electric busses, which do not produce harmful emissions. In addition current trasnport is what many people use in their daily life, so it makes sense to improve it rather than spending money on new high-speed railway lines. To sum up, i agree with the idea that railway lines should be improved, in order to travel other cities. However, the government would be better to improve existing transport for humans’ conveniency.
It is true that for several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places around the world it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to invest more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on building a new high-speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
lines between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Others including me, do believe that earnings of the country should
be spent
on improving existing public transport.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
widely
believed that trains
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
travelling between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
much more convenient. In fact, it is faster than moving by plain,
Possible spelling mistake found.
becasue
you do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait in an airport for your flight.
Moreover
, in order to visit other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should not pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
plain tickets, as they have another better alternative like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
lines.
Also
, trains play a crucial role in the shipment of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
products. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the cost of the constructing a long-distance train system is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
be spent
more
efficiently
.

This leads to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be spent
on improvement of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
Possible spelling mistake found.
trasport
system. Although, public
Possible spelling mistake found.
trasport
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as
environmentally
friendly,
for example
, the vast
Possible spelling mistake found.
mojority
of the busses are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
long-standing and
they can cause
Did you mean "polluting"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to pollute
atmosphere.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it could
be solved
by investing on the new modern electric busses, which do not produce harmful emissions. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
Possible spelling mistake found.
trasnport
is what
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in their daily life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it
rather
than spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on new high-speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
lines.

To sum up,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
lines should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
, in order to travel other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would be better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
existing transport for humans’
Possible spelling mistake found.
conveniency
.
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IELTS essay Many companies including the religion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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