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Many argue that keeping animals in captivity is inhumane , therefore should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Many argue that keeping animals in captivity is inhumane, therefore should be banned. Kynb6
It is believed that places which keep animals should be closed as it is cruel. While I accept that this idea has some benefits, I believe that animal preserves play an important role in wildlife protection. There are a number of reasons why some people think that keeping wild animals in captivity should be banned because it impedes animals' freedom. Wild animals are caged in a limited space and fed by humans for a long time. As a result, many of them might suffer from boredom and confinement, they can lose their pure wild animal craziness. Moreover, many organizations might see animals as an opportunity to make money. For example, many wild animals are exhibited and performed to entertain and attract visitors. Many people claim that we have no right to use animals for entertainment and profit, so they think that keeping animals should be not allowed. However, while the above mentioned may be true to a certain extent, I believe that some places like zoos are necessary for the following reasons. Firstly, sanctuaries can help to preserve endangered species by keeping them safe from poachers and other threats, such as deforestation. Some places also run breeding programs in order to try and increase the number of endangered animals to avoid them becoming extinct. Secondly, by keeping animals in captivity, people can learn and understand more about them and this can help to raise awareness amongst the public in order to help preserve certain species. In conclusion, although some people think that keeping animals in captivity should be illegal because of negative effects on animals, I personally believe species which are in danger should be kept to extend their populations.
It
is believed
that places which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be closed
as it is cruel. While I accept that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
preserves play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in wildlife protection.

There are a number of reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that keeping wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in captivity should
be banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it impedes animals' freedom. Wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are caged
in a limited space and fed by humans for a long time.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them might suffer from boredom and confinement, they can lose their pure wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
craziness.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
organizations might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are exhibited
and performed to entertain and attract visitors.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that we have no right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for entertainment and profit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
.

However
, while the above mentioned may be true to a certain extent, I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places like zoos are necessary for the following reasons.
Firstly
, sanctuaries can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to preserve endangered species by keeping them safe from poachers and other threats, such as deforestation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
places
also
run breeding programs in order to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
increase the number of endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to avoid them becoming extinct.
Secondly
, by keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in captivity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn and understand more about them and this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to raise awareness amongst the public in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
preserve certain species.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that keeping animals

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
captivity should be illegal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, I
personally
believe species which are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
to extend their populations.
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IELTS essay Many argue that keeping animals in captivity is inhumane, therefore should be banned.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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