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Many animals are in danger of extinction. What are the causes and what solutions can solve this problem.

Many animals are in danger of extinction. What are the causes and what solutions can solve this problem. Dolko
Many animals are currently in the verge of extinction. So how do the government handle this issue effectively from it variant causes? Animals are now having a high risk of extinction because of some reasons. First many people who are not getting sufficient knowledge about animal’s role are usually overhunting those species for eating. For example, people living in the rural areas which is restricted from having a deep insight into animal’s roles consider that all of animals in this life are barely foods, including those in danger of extinction. So they will hunt the animals whenever they see them without thinking whether it is illegal or not. In addition, animals have to face this serious issue because of the ever increasing needs of animal’s bodies for decoration. Although the administration has imposed some strict punishments for those who illegally make animal’s bodies trades, many people still commit an offence because of the attractiveness of money. Therefore, they will unconsciously hurt, beat, or even kill the animals for getting ivories, shells, heads, and so on which is unethical and cruel. However, there are some feasible measures could be taken to tackle this problem. Firstly, the government must organize more campaign of saving animal lives, especially those who are in the edge of extinction. The more ambitious efforts that the government put in, the more people will understand the importance of maintaining the diversity in animal species. So they may not seek those species for foods. Moreover, the government should construct more farmlands or markets which provide stable meat sources for the citizen. Thanks to that, the ratio of animals being killed by the human hands will be minimized. Secondly, the administration should take advantages of their social platform to address this issue. Rhino ivories cannot cure illnesses, deer’s head can bring diseases are some more accurate information which is taken survey by professional researchers, not handed down by word of mouth. So if these were spread out to community, more and more people will consider to stop using animals’ bodies. Besides, they can buy animals models made from papers which are friendly to the environment. In conclusion the extinction of animals happening in this modern world can become a massive problem without serious consideration. Although there are various causes, they must be some possible solutions for this serious issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
currently
in the verge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
how do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
handle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
effectively
from it variant causes?

Animals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
having a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
First
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not getting sufficient knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal’s
role are
usually
overhunting those species for eating.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the rural areas which
is restricted
from having a deep insight into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal’s
roles consider that all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in this life are
barely
foods, including those in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they will hunt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
whenever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them without thinking whether it is illegal or not.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face this serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal’s
bodies for decoration. Although the administration has imposed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict punishments for those who
illegally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal’s
bodies trades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
commit an
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the attractiveness of money.
Therefore
, they will
unconsciously
hurt, beat, or even kill the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for getting ivories, shells, heads, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on which is unethical and cruel.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible measures could
be taken
to tackle this problem.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
organize more campaign of saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
especially
those who are in the edge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
. The more ambitious efforts that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
put in, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will understand the importance of maintaining the diversity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they may not seek those species for foods.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should construct more farmlands or markets which provide stable meat sources for the citizen. Thanks to that, the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
being killed
by the human hands will
be minimized
.
Secondly
, the administration should take advantages of their social platform to address this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. Rhino ivories cannot cure illnesses, deer’s head can bring diseases are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more accurate information which
is taken
survey by professional researchers, not handed down by word of mouth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if these
were spread
out to community, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will consider to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
bodies.
Besides
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
models made from papers which are friendly to the environment.

In conclusion
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
happening in this modern world can become a massive problem without serious consideration. Although there are various causes, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions for this serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
.
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IELTS essay Many animals are in danger of extinction. What are the causes and what solutions can solve this problem.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
389 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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