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make an essay about two festival you want to introduce for people to choose for their vacation. Make sure that it is equal for both.

make an essay about two festival you want to introduce for people to choose for their vacation. Make sure that it is equal for both. pakXm

You have a long vacation but do not know how to enjoy it? This brochure will give you some advises to help you decide where you can enjoy your time with your family or with you friends. Boryeong mud festival is the most famous summer event in South Korea. It was originally conceived in 1998 as a marketing tool for Boryeong mud cosmetics and has become an extremely popular for visitors and local residents. When you take part in this kind of event, you can enjoy many different kinds of things from mud slides, mud pits, mud prison, to mud fountains, mud swimming pool and the most exciting, mud giant pool. Mud in those things can be uncomfortable and a little bit dirty, where as it is extremely helpful for your skin. Another festival that I want to introduce you is Diwali Festival. It is the biggest and most important holiday of the year, you can call it Festival of Lights. If you want to join in this event, you need to spend over five days. In these days, you can do many things for example like go shopping, decorating homes, creating design patterns, praying and so on. This festival is exhilarating, luminous, and excellent. If you want to see something that feels sacred and mysterious, I’m sure you won’t be disappointed when you visit this festival. Nevertheless, a lot of thefts happen every year during Diwali festival. Since the number of participants is so large that the security can’t be controlled, so make sure you take good care of your belongings when taking part in this event. Both of these festivals are amazing, so it’s hard to choose between the two. After all, no matter which festival you decide to attend in, I believe that you will have such a great experience with your family and frien

You have a long vacation This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 do not know how to enjoy it? This brochure will give you This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 advises to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 you decide where you can enjoy your time with your family or with you friends.

Possible spelling mistake found.BoeingBorderingBoringBorneoBoronBurying
Boryeong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmucksludgeslushsiltclay
mud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfairfeastanniversarycompetitiongalaholiday
festival
 is the most This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:well-known
famous
 summer This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :occasionhappening
event
 in South Korea. It was originally
 conceived in 1998 as a marketing tool for Possible spelling mistake found.BoeingBorderingBoringBorneoBoronBurying
Boryeong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmucksludgeslushsiltclay
mud
 cosmetics and has become an extremely
 popular for visitors and local residents. When you This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :participate
take part
 in this kind of This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :occasionhappening
event
, you can enjoy This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:various
different
 kinds of things from You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmucksludgeslushsiltclay
mud
 slides, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmucksludgeslushsiltclay
mud
 pits, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmucksludgeslushsiltclay
mud
 prison, to You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmucksludgeslushsiltclay
mud
 fountains, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmucksludgeslushsiltclay
mud
 swimming pool and the most exciting, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmucksludgeslushsiltclay
mud
 giant pool. You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmucksludgeslushsiltclay
Mud
 in those things can be uncomfortable and a Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".littlebit
little bit
 dirty, Did you mean "whereas"?whereas
where as
 it is extremely
 helpful for your skin.

Another You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfairfeastanniversarycompetitiongalaholiday
festival
 that I want to introduce you is Diwali You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfairfeastanniversarycompetitiongalaholiday
Festival
. It is the biggest and most This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:vitalcriticalessential
important
 holiday of the year, you can call it You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfairfeastanniversarycompetitiongalaholiday
Festival
 of Lights. If you want to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :consolidatefuse
join
 in this This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :occasionhappening
event
, you need to spend over five days. In these days, you can do This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 things for example
 like go shopping, decorating homes, creating design patterns, praying and This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 on. This You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfairfeastanniversarycompetitiongalaholiday
festival
 is exhilarating, luminous, and excellent. If you want to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witness
see
 something that feels sacred and mysterious, I’m sure you won’t be disappointed
 when you visit this You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfairfeastanniversarycompetitiongalaholiday
festival
. Nevertheless
, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
a lot of
 thefts happen every year during Diwali You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfairfeastanniversarycompetitiongalaholiday
festival
. Since the number of participants is This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 large that the security can’t be controlled
, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
 sure you take This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 care of your belongings when taking part in this This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :occasionhappening
event
.

Both of these You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfairfeastanniversarycompetitiongalaholiday
festivals
 are amazing, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 it’s This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :arduous
hard
 to choose between the two. After all
, no matter which You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfairfeastanniversarycompetitiongalaholiday
festival
 you decide to attend in, I believe that you will have such a great experience with your family and Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphfrien.frien!frien?frien:frien,frien;
frien