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Machines are becoming vey sophisticated. While machines enable individual workers to many benefits; they causes some serious harm too

Machines are becoming vey sophisticated. While machines enable individual workers to many benefits; they causes some serious harm too jDa3w
It is true that machines are advancing rapidly day by day. while there are some drawbacks of the sophistication of machines, I believe the merits outweigh the demerits. There are a number of benefits of machines for individual workers. One possible benefit is that machines save more time than in the past. By consuming time people can easily complete their work to beat the clock. Another benefit of working in a machine, workers do their work perfectly than they do it by their hand. For example, in modern technology recently invented a combine harvester, it is the versatile machine designed to efficiently harvest a variety of grain crops. it helps the worker reaping, threshing, gathering, and winnowing their crops into a single process. it also helps them to enhance their skills and experiences to get a job in the future. Despite the above benefits, it has some drawbacks too. To begin with, if people do no know how to use the machine, they will face some problems with using it and it will be a risk to their life. Workers should not use the machines without proper training. Secondly, when the machine is invented, it will be possible for some workers to lose their jobs. Because companies are willing to buy these types of machines for reducing their labor costs. As a result, The unemployment rate will increase in a country. In conclusion, although there are some undesirable consequences of the sophistication of machines, I would argue that it will be beneficial for individual workers to upgrade themselves with new technologies.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are advancing
rapidly
day by day.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of the sophistication of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
, I believe the merits outweigh the demerits. There are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
for individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. One possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
save more time than in the past. By consuming time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
complete their work to beat the clock. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
of working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
do their work
Use "(perfectly)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
perfectly
than they do it by their hand.
For example
, in modern technology recently invented a combine harvester, it is the versatile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
designed to
efficiently
harvest a variety of grain crops.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
reaping, threshing, gathering, and winnowing their crops into a single process.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to enhance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and experiences to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job
The usual preposition for "get a job" is "with" for an organization. Revise: "with the future".
in the future
. Despite the above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks too. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do no know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
, they will face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems with using it and it will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to their life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Workers
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
without proper training.
Secondly
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
is invented
, it will be possible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to lose their jobs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
for reducing their labor costs.
As a result
, The unemployment rate will increase in a country.
In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
undesirable consequences of the sophistication of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
, I would argue that it will be beneficial for individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to upgrade themselves with new technologies.
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IELTS essay Machines are becoming vey sophisticated. While machines enable individual workers to many benefits; they causes some serious harm too

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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