Search
Vocabularying
Listening
Reading
1. Academic
2. General
Writing
1. IELTSWriting Checker
2. IELTS Writing Samples
Speaking
1. Latest Topics
2. Speaking Club

Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.

losing a contest because of the number of tickets you buy

losing a contest because of the number of tickets you buy jV85a

Today, at the Carnival Princess contest in town, I have the honor to be the reporter and photographer to catch the children happy moments; however, there is a story about Lurlena that makes me ponder on so much. Every kids dress nicely with their hair braided, pretty shoes and colorful princess skirt. They all seem extremely gorgeous and excited. The time passes by till the end of the contest and the winner has been honored. She has been praised and her parents are so proud of her, everyone gathers around her to celebrate this prize. Nevertheless, at the corner of the car park, in the back of the family car, a little girl with watery eyes, flushed cheeks and a bored face sits in and she is terribly sad for not being the winner. Her parents told me that she has made a wonderful attemp for this competition, spent all day preparing her new white dress and new shoes. But unfairly, the prize was give based on whose parents bought the most tickets and Lurlena’s parents could only afford eight dollars’ worth. This has made a children beauty contest became a wealth contest and the richest would be the winner. In conclusion, this story got an sadly messege about the money problem of adult that affect chidren.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :this day and agenowadays
Today
, at the Carnival Princess You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdiscussiontournamenttrialgamesportmeeting
contest
 in town, I have the honor to be the reporter and photographer to catch the children happy moments; however
, there is a story about Possible spelling mistake found.LorenaLuleå
Lurlena
 that This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createsconstructsmanufacturesproduces
makes
 me ponder on This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 much. 'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular. Did you mean "all"?All
Every
 kids dress nicely
 with their hair braided, pretty shoes and colorful princess skirt. They all seem extremely
 gorgeous and excited. The time passes by till the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :expiration
end
 of the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdiscussiontournamenttrialgamesportmeeting
contest
 and the winner has been honored
. She has been praised
 and her You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfathermother
parents
 are This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 proud of her, everyone gathers around her to celebrate this prize. Nevertheless
, at the corner of the car park, in the back of the family car, a This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:tiny
little
 girl with watery eyes, flushed cheeks and a bored face sits Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).in, and
in and
 she is terribly
 sad for not being the winner. Her You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfathermother
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :informed
told
 me that she has made a wonderful Possible spelling mistake found.attemptat temp
attemp
 for this competition, spent all day preparing her new white dress and new shoes. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
But
unfairly
, the prize was give based on whose You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfathermother
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :purchased
bought
 the most tickets and Possible spelling mistake found.LorenaLuleå
Lurlena
’s You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfathermother
parents
 could This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 afford eight dollars’ worth. This has made a children beauty You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdiscussiontournamenttrialgamesportmeeting
contest
 became a wealth You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdiscussiontournamenttrialgamesportmeeting
contest
 and the richest would be the winner. In conclusion
, this story This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquired
got
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'a
an
sadly
Possible spelling mistake found.message
messege
 about the money problem of adult that affect Possible spelling mistake found.children
chidren
. 