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Lifestyle and culture are in different countries is becoming similar. What do you think? Is it a positive development or negative development?

Lifestyle and culture are in different countries is becoming similar. What do you think? Is it a positive development or negative development? 0AEOl
Nowadays, The world has become a global village due to technological advancements, globalization and westernization and it leads to equality in lifestyle and culture in different countries as developing nations are adopting the lifestyle and culture of developed nations. As per my view, It is not completely a negative development just we need to preserve the culture, traditions, as well as customs of each nation. To begin with, Race of adopting lifestyle of another country leads to the loss of indigenous culture, tradition, customs and lifestyle. These were developed several millennia ago and suit to the specific country. So, adopting another country's lifestyle and customs might not be suitable for people living in that country. For an Instance, In country like India it is better to consume vegetarian food and wear cotton clothes as it is having hot climate. While in western countries they consume non-vegetarian food and wear woollen clothes because of its cold climate. In addition to that, fossil fuel usage in the USA is far greater than that of India. To add into this, Diversity enhances the innovations, Different culture and lifestyles provide a completely different perspective towards life. That's why school and colleges should prefer to increase in diversity. Diversity in lifestyle and culture generates a unique national identity and it should be preserved. As because of that discrepancy country is able to attract tourism along with foreign money. On the other hand, Due to conformity in lifestyle and culture people can easily migrate to another country with less challenges in terms of languages, lifestyle and culture. It also diminish the discrimination based on race, nationality and style of clothing. To recapitulate, equality in lifestyle and customs between several country is not completely negative until the citizen's of specific country able to preserve their own culture and customs.
Nowadays, The world has become a global village due to technological advancements, globalization and
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some nouns that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Westernization".
westernization
and it leads to equality in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as developing nations are adopting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of developed nations. As per my view, It is not completely a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
we need to preserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, traditions,
as well
as customs of each nation.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Race of adopting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
leads to the loss of indigenous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, tradition, customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. These
were developed
several millennia ago and suit to the specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, adopting another country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and customs might not be suitable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. For an Instance, In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like India it is better to consume vegetarian food and wear cotton clothes as it is having hot climate. While in western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
they consume non-vegetarian food and wear
Possible spelling mistake found.
woollen
clothes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
climate.
In addition
to that, fossil fuel usage in the USA is far greater than that of India.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
into this, Diversity enhances the innovations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
provide a completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective towards life. That's why school and colleges should prefer to increase in diversity. Diversity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
generates a unique national identity and it should
be preserved
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that discrepancy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is able to attract tourism along with foreign money.

On the other hand
, Due to conformity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
migrate to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun challenges is countable.
less
challenges in terms of languages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. It
also
Did you mean "diminishes"?
diminish
the discrimination based on race, nationality and style of clothing.

To recapitulate, equality in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and customs between several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is not completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
until the citizen's of specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
able to preserve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and customs.
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IELTS essay Lifestyle and culture are in different countries is becoming similar. What do you think? Is it a positive development or negative development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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