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learning is better form people who are high-level or form people who are at our own level

learning is better form people who are high-level or form people who are at our own level wBmye
Since the beginning of the current century, the concept of learning has become a common trend. People must keep learning along with their whole life, even from books, technology or people around them. Some people believe that they could learn better from their peers and colleagues at work. However, there is a substantial body of evidence claims that learning from superiors is more beneficial. From a personal perspective, learning from high-level individuals, such as teachers or supervisors, is more significant given that they have great experience and knowledge. Below I will strive to explain my supporting points in more details. The first and foremost point, teachers usually have broad knowledge. Provided that students depend on their educators to get information, they could always gain much more knowledge. Nevertheless, some of our peers could excel in one area, they could not be as proficient as teachers. A vivid example that could be given to shed light on what was stated above is, I remember when I was at high school, I was terrible on physics. Thus, I turned to one of my friends called Christine to tutor me. Even though she was very good at this subject, she could not answer all my questions. On the other hand, when I went to my professor, he not only explained everything to me properly, but also taught me how to solve some mathematics easily. Consequently, asking professionals always has more merits. Next, coupled with expanding knowledge, the experience is another virtue of learning from superiors. To put it in other words, supervisors or managers are more skillful and more experience in giving instructions; so they could convey information better. For instance, five years ago, when I did my pharmacy internship, my co-worker was adept at using the pharmacy system, but she did not have enough experience how to deal with patients. On the contrary, the manager of the pharmacy was very qualified; hence, he taught me many skills, such as working under stress, multitask and dealing with patients, especially angry ones. As a result, I could add all these skills to my resume and got a better job after graduation. Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt, learning from those who are higher level is better than learning from those who are on their own level. It is suggested that people compromise and ask for guidance form all well-rounded people.
Since the beginning of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
century, the concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
has become a common trend.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
along with their whole life, even from books, technology or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that they could learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
from their peers and colleagues at work.
However
, there is a substantial body of evidence claims that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from superiors is more beneficial. From a personal perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from high-level individuals, such as teachers or supervisors, is more significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that they have great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. Below I will strive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my supporting points in more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

The
first
and foremost point, teachers
usually
have broad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. Provided that students depend on their educators to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information, they could always gain much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our peers could excel in one area, they could not be as proficient as teachers. A vivid example that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on what
was stated
above is, I remember when I was at high school, I was terrible on physics.
Thus
, I turned to one of my friends called Christine to tutor me.
Even though
she was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at this subject, she could not answer all my questions.
On the other hand
, when I went to my professor, he not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
everything to me
properly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
taught me how to solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mathematics
easily
.
Consequently
, asking professionals always has more merits.

Next
, coupled with expanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is another virtue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from superiors. To put it
in other words
, supervisors or managers are more skillful and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in giving instructions;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they could convey information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
For instance
, five years ago, when I did my pharmacy internship, my co-worker was adept at using the pharmacy system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she did not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
how to deal with patients.
On the contrary
, the manager of the pharmacy was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
qualified;
hence
, he taught me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as working under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, multitask and dealing with patients,
especially
angry ones.
As a result
, I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
all these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to my resume and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
job after graduation.

Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from those who are higher level is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from those who are on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
level. It
is suggested
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
compromise and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
guidance form all well-rounded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay learning is better form people who are high-level or form people who are at our own level

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
397 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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