Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

tpo 46 using the benefits of using the electronic medical records

tpo 46 using the benefits of using the electronic medical records BJWrd
Since the beginning of the current century, the ability to make a decision has become a common trend. Some people believe that young adult today depend on their parents to make decisions; however, there is a substantial body of evidence claims that they are independent and could could control their owen lives. From a personal perspective, youngsters nowadays are capable of making decisions about their own lives more properly than they were in the past given that they are more educated and more adapted to technology. Below I will strive to explain my supporting points in more details. The first and foremost point, in the last three decades, educating children has improved drastically. To put it in other words, schools have designed their curriculum with taking a child's personallity into consideration. Provided that students are taught how to think, they could make their decisions. A vivid example that could be given to shed light on that is, schools in developed countries, such as Canada and the United States of America, have started to teach their students ideas and concepts rather than fact. Thus, instead of teaching them specific curriculum, they teach them how to integrate information and explore topics. Furthermore, students are actively particpate in the class not just passively. In addition to that, this approach could promote not only students immagination, but also creativety. Hence, they could think rationally and set up to achieve their goals. Consequently, they have the ability to make optimal decisions by themselves without dependancy on their parents. Next, coupled with fanctional education, adaptation to technology is another reason why young people could make decisions alone. Although advanced technology are intricate, youngsters have the ability to adapt to it quickly. Moreover, using cutting-edge technology open the door to a wealth of information, which helps young adults tomake realistic decisions. For instance, seven years ago, I finished high school and I try to opt for a university. Since I had the ability to use the internet, I searched for any information I want to know. Likewise, adapting to technology helped me to know how couId admit to a university and check the strenghtens and weakness aspects of each one. As a result, technology played a vital role on helping me making my own desicion. Taking everthing into consideration; without a doubt, young people today could make their own decisions. It is suggested that schools design learning activities to help their students to be more independent.
Since the beginning of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
century, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
has become a common trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
depend on their parents to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
;
however
, there is a substantial body of evidence claims that they are independent and
Possible typo: you repeated a word
could could
control their
Possible spelling mistake found.
owen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. From a personal perspective, youngsters nowadays are capable of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more
properly
than they were in the past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that they are more educated and more adapted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Below I will strive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my supporting points in more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

The
first
and foremost point, in the last three decades, educating children has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
drastically
. To put it
in other words
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
schools


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
have
designed their curriculum with taking a child's
Possible spelling mistake found.
personallity
into consideration. Provided that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are taught
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, they could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. A vivid example that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on
that is
, schools in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, such as Canada and the United States of America, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and concepts
rather
than fact.
Thus
,
instead
of teaching them specific curriculum, they teach them how to integrate information and explore topics.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
actively
Possible spelling mistake found.
particpate
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
passively
.
In addition
to that, this approach could promote not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible spelling mistake found.
immagination
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
creativety
.
Hence
, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
rationally
and set up to achieve their goals.
Consequently
, they have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
optimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
by themselves without
Possible spelling mistake found.
dependancy
on their parents.

Next
, coupled with
Possible spelling mistake found.
fanctional
education, adaptation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
alone. Although advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are intricate, youngsters have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to adapt to it
quickly
.
Moreover
, using cutting-edge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
open the door to a wealth of information, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults
Possible spelling mistake found.
tomake
realistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
For instance
, seven years ago, I finished high school and I try to opt for a university. Since I had the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet, I searched for any information I want to know.
Likewise
, adapting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to know how
Possible spelling mistake found.
couId
admit to a university and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
strenghtens
and weakness aspects of each one.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
played a vital role on helping me
The verb 'vital' is used with an infinitive: "to make" or "make".
making
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
desicion
.

Taking
Possible spelling mistake found.
everthing
into consideration; without a doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. It
is suggested
that schools design learning activities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be more independent.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay tpo 46 using the benefits of using the electronic medical records

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
409 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6.5band
    tpo 45 fossilized structures could resemble a bee nests
    The material discusses the old fossil sturctures that have been discovered inside 200- million-years-old fossilized trees could resemble bee nests. While the reading claims that these structures were not created by bees becasue of several arguments. The listening disagrees and mentions that it is pe...
  • 6band
    tpo 45 the fossilized bee nests
    The material discusses the old fossil sturctures that have been discovered inside 200- million-years-old fossilized trees could resemble bee nests. While the reading claims that these structures were not created by bees becasue of several arguments. The listening disagrees and mentions that it is pe...
  • 6band
    tpo 52 colonization of humans on asteroids
    The material discusses the establishing colonies of humans to live in asteroids. While the reading claims that this colonization would the best options because of many reasons, the listening disagrees and says that this idea is not practical and has serious challenges. First, the author mentions th...
  • 6.5band
    the societies rules that young people should follow are too strict
    In the last two decades, the rules that young people should follow have become a common trend. Some people believe that these rule are too strict; however, there is another substantial body of evidence claims that young adult should obey societies' rule. From a personal perspective, I concur that th...
  • 6band
    The reading and the lecture give information about the European silver coin that was discovered at Native American archaeological site in the state of Main.
    The reading and the lecture give information about the European silver coin that was discovered at Native American archaeological site in the state of Main. While the reading mentions three suggestion to support that the coin has no historical value, The lecture refutes all the suggestion provided i...
  • 6band
    A/D when people look for jobs they should try to get a job for their entire lives.
    Job plays an important part in our lives. People at certain time of their lives strive to look for a good job. Since good jobes are limited, I agree that people should try to got job for all entire life. Working for the same position for the whole entire life carries many benefits. One of the most ...





Get more results for topic:
  • tpo 46 using the benefits of using the electronic medical records