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Last year, when I was grade 10,my school have a football club an i am one of the player in the main lineup.In the club, I am the one,who always disciplined,

Last year, when I was grade 10, my school have a football club an i am one of the player in the main lineup. In the club, I am the one, who always disciplined, PLW8w
Last year, when I was grade 10, my school have a football club an i am one of the player in the main lineup. In the club, I am the one, who always disciplined, perseverance and patience in every challenges that the coach give us. The coach sees that I am the special talent that he has waiting for many years, and at that time our team need a captain to lead the team because the old captain had to practice for the university entrace exam so he didn’t have time to join and training with the club. The coach held a meeting with all the players in the club to choose a new captain, the coach nominated me to be the new captain, and all the teammates acquises with that, because almost all of them have seen me play before so they knew that I will be a great captain. Unfortunately instead of that there is a teammate didn’t like me and he protested me to be a captain because he had a different perspective about me. He think that i just a newbie and I’ve been overrated partly he had never seen me play before so he didn’t know much about me. But I’m still be the captain so he had been very angry haha Next day later, we had a training for the next day’s match, When the coach was teaching new tactics, that guy didn't listen and he just wanted to procastinate the training to go out with some of his friends but he couldn’t. Then when we were doing the new tactics that the coach gave to us, because he didn’t listen so he made a mistake, the coach scolded him but he refused to admit he was wrong and he blamed me, I defused it and he used defamatory words to insult me and it led to a big fight and then our teamates quickly dissuaded the fight to continue. When the training end, I calm down and I realized I will make him admit me is a great player then I walked to his place and I said that “I will let you know why I am the captain” and he agreed and he said that if I cant do that I need to let him be a captain. In the nextday match, in the first round the coach wanted me to played like a defender and i accomplishmented it, no one can pass me. The last round I played like a attackers and I scored 2 goals for my team, the match has been controlled by me so my team won the match. Everyones concede my talents, and believed I will be a professional players in the future even the guy that protested me.
Last year, when I was grade 10, my school have a football club an
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
in the main lineup. In the club, I am the one, who always disciplined, perseverance and patience in every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "challenge"?
challenges
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coach
give us. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
that I am the special talent that he has waiting for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years, and at that time our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
need a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
captain
to lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
captain
had to practice for the university
Possible spelling mistake found.
entrace
exam
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he didn’t have time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
with the club.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coach
held a meeting with all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
in the club to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
captain
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coach
nominated me to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
captain
, and all the teammates
Possible spelling mistake found.
acquises
with that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
almost all of them have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
me play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they knew that I will be a great captain.

Unfortunately
instead
of that there is a teammate didn’t like
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
me and
he protested me to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
captain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective about me. He
The pronoun 'He' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "thinks", "thought".
think
that i
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a newbie and I’ve
been overrated
partly he had never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
me play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he didn’t know much about me.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I’m
still
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
captain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he had been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
angry haha

Next
day later, we had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
for the
next
day’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
, When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coach
was teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
tactics, that guy didn't
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
listen and
he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wanted to
Possible spelling mistake found.
procastinate
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
to go out with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of his friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he couldn’t. Then when we were doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
tactics that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coach
gave to us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he didn’t listen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he made a mistake, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coach
scolded him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he refused to admit he was
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
wrong and
he blamed me, I defused
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
defamatory words to insult me and it led to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fight and then our
Possible spelling mistake found.
teamates
quickly
dissuaded the fight to continue.

When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, I calm down and I realized I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him admit me is a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
then I walked to his place and I said that “I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know why I am the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
captain”
and he
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
agreed and
he said that if I
Did you mean "can't" or "cannot"?
cant
do that I need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
him be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
captain
. In the
Possible spelling mistake found.
nextday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
, in the
first
round the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coach
wanted me to played like a defender and i
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomplishmented
it, no one can pass me. The last round I played like
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
attackers and I scored 2 goals for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
has
been controlled
by me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
won the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Everyones
concede my talents, and believed I will be a professional
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "player"?
players
in the future even the guy that protested me.
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IELTS essay Last year, when I was grade 10, my school have a football club an i am one of the player in the main lineup. In the club, I am the one, who always disciplined,

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
462 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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