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Jobs was the illegitimate son of an American mother and Muslim father.

Jobs was the illegitimate son of an American mother and Muslim father. eeXLJ
Jobs was the illegitimate son of an American mother and Muslim father. He was born when his mother was still a student. As a result, Jobs had to endure the pain of not being with his parents since he was a child and at the same time suffered from everyone's criticism of him. But later, Jobs turned an ordinary garage into a successful international company with his effort and talent. Steve once said he would always live like today was his last and he did it. Therefore, Steve Jobs changed lives, redefined industries and achieved one of the rarest things in human history, it has changed the way we saw the world. To sum up, Steve Jobs was the CEO of Apple and was one of the most influential, successful people in the technology industry in Silicon Valley in the late 90s.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jobs
was the illegitimate son of an American mother and Muslim father. He
was born
when his mother was
still
a student.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jobs
had to endure the pain of not being with his parents since he was a child and at the same time suffered from everyone's criticism of him.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
later,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jobs
turned an ordinary garage into a successful international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with his effort and talent. Steve once said he would always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
was his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
last and
he did it.
Therefore
, Steve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jobs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, redefined industries and achieved one of the rarest things in human history, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the world. To sum up, Steve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jobs
was the CEO of Apple and was one of the most influential, successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the technology industry in Silicon Valley in the late 90s.

IELTS essay Jobs was the illegitimate son of an American mother and Muslim father.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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