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Jerusalem Trip hindrances and challenges

Hello, I'm Yasser From Palestine Gaza strip I Work Nurse On Gaza strip on pediatric Governmental Hospital - My manager is nominate me to take nurse training to how deal with infection control protocol on elmakassed hospital on Jerusalem and applying it on alnasser pediatric hospital on Gaza strip. I got too many hindrances on my mission to Jerusalem. IM her today to tell you my story from 1st day to day 90 in my mission, the first day have big complex problem with erez cross that's located on north Gaza strip ( this cross linked Gaza strip with historical Palestine )
Hello, I'm Yasser From Palestine Gaza
strip
I Work Nurse On Gaza
strip
on pediatric Governmental Hospital
-
My manager is nominate me to take nurse training to how deal with infection control protocol on
elmakassed
hospital on Jerusalem and applying it on
alnasser
pediatric hospital on
Gaza strip
.

I
got
too
many
hindrances on my mission to Jerusalem.

IM
her
today
to
tell
you my story from 1st day to day 90 in my mission, the
first
day have
big
complex problem with
erez
cross that's located on north Gaza
strip
(
this
cross linked
Gaza
strip
with historical Palestine
)
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IELTS essay Jerusalem Trip hindrances and challenges

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
101 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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