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It was the luckiest day of my life

It was the luckiest day of my life 0B1pq
I have met many lucky people in my life. And I didn't know what luck would be like until that day came. I remember that day very well. That day I felt the greatest fortune and happiness of my life. That day was 18 th September in 2021. I woke up on time at that time. Before I went to school, I did morning exercises and had breakfast. After lessons, I came home. Hereafter I did my homework and also I helped my mother with housework. Everything seemed to be working for me that day and that day seemed kind of lucky to me. For example, time, weather, and others. In the evening I heard very important news that day. The news was that the results of the presidential schools had been announced. Then I went to the telegram to find out the results of the exam and did not understand what was happening. Because everyone was congratulating me on entering the Presidential School. I didn`t believe that and decided to see the result of the exam with my eyes. I was admitted to the Presidential School. Then I told my parents about it. And also they were so happy from hearing this. There were also guests in our house that day. They also congratulated me. And that day I understood what luck and happiness are like. That day brought me the greatest success of my life. And I hope that in the future I will achieve even greater success.
I have met
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lucky
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in my life. And I didn't know what luck would be like until that day came. I remember that day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well. That day I felt the greatest fortune and happiness of my life. That day was
Did you mean "18th"?
18 th
September in 2021. I woke up on time at that time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
I went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I did morning exercises and had breakfast. After lessons, I came home. Hereafter I did my homework and
also
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
my mother with housework. Everything seemed to be working for me that day and that day seemed kind of lucky to me.
For example
, time, weather,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. In the evening I heard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
news that day. The news was that the results of the presidential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
had
been announced
. Then I went to the telegram to find out the results of the exam and did not understand what was happening.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
everyone was congratulating me on entering the Presidential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
. I
You used an accent character instead of an apostrophe. Please use either "didn't" or "didn’t".
didn`t
believe that and decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the result of the exam with my eyes. I
was admitted
to the Presidential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
. Then I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
my parents about it. And
also
they were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy from hearing this. There were
also
guests in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
that day. They
also
congratulated me. And that day I understood what luck and happiness are like. That day brought me the greatest success of my life. And I hope that in the future I will achieve even greater success.
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IELTS essay It was the luckiest day of my life

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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