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It is true that cities are seeing a rise in smaller families and one-person households, while the extended family is becoming a rarity.

It is true that cities are seeing a rise in smaller families and one-person households, while the extended family is becoming a rarity. y6xD
It is true that cities are seeing a rise in smaller families and one-person households, while the extended family is becoming a rarity. In my opinion, this is a negative development. As families become smaller, the traditional family support network is disappearing, and this can have a negative impact on children as they grow up. In a nuclear family or single-parent household, childcare becomes an expensive and stressful part of daily life. Without the help of grandparents or aunts and uncles, busy parents must rely on babysitters, nannies and after-school clubs to take care of younger children, while older children may be left alone after school and during holidays. The absence of adult family members can mean that friends, television and the Internet become the primary influences on children’s behaviour. It is no surprise that the decline of the extended family has been linked to a rise in psychological and behavioural problems amongst young people. The trend towards people living alone is perhaps even more damaging because of the psychological effects of reduced human interaction. Individuals who live on their own have nobody to talk to in person, so they cannot share problems or discuss the highs and lows of daily life. They forgo the constant stimulation and hustle and bustle of a large family, and are left to their own devices for extended periods of time. The lack of human contact in the home is necessarily replaced by passive distractions, such as television, video games, online chat rooms or Internet surfing. This type of existence is associated with boredom, loneliness, and feelings of isolation or even alienation, all of which are factors that are known to increase the risk of mental illness. In conclusion, I believe that individuals thrive when they are part of larger family groups, and so it is worrying that many people are choosing to live alone or in such small family units.
It is true that cities are seeing a rise in smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and one-person households, while the extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is becoming a rarity. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
become smaller, the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
support network is disappearing, and this can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as they grow up. In a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or single-parent household, childcare becomes an expensive and stressful part of daily life. Without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of grandparents or aunts and uncles, busy parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
rely on babysitters, nannies and after-school clubs to take care of younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, while older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone after school and during holidays. The absence of adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members can mean that friends, television and the Internet become the primary influences on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. It is no surprise that the decline of the extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has
been linked
to a rise in psychological and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
problems amongst young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The trend towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living alone is perhaps even more damaging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the psychological effects of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
human interaction. Individuals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
have nobody to talk to in person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they cannot share problems or discuss the highs and lows of daily life. They forgo the constant stimulation and hustle and bustle of a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
devices for extended periods of time. The lack of human contact in the home is
necessarily
replaced by passive distractions, such as television, video games, online chat rooms or Internet surfing. This type of existence
is associated
with boredom, loneliness, and feelings of isolation or even alienation, all of which are factors that
are known
to increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of mental illness.

In conclusion
, I believe that individuals thrive when they are part of larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
groups, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is worrying that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone or in such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
units.
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IELTS essay It is true that cities are seeing a rise in smaller families and one-person households, while the extended family is becoming a rarity.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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