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High job demands, stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill. This way they accomplish important tasks, but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves. In your opinion should people go to work if they are sick?

High job demands, stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill. This way they accomplish important tasks, but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves. In your opinion should people go to work if they are sick? Vewm
It is common to see a great number of employees work even if they are ill as this helps them to accomplish vital tasks. It is however argued that the situation is vulnerable for both those who do this and those around them, and hence they should abstain from work when they are ill. I too agree to the opinion to a greater extent. The first reason behind my argument is because of the fact that productiveness of an employee is directly related to his physiological and psychological wellbeing. To be precise, if an employee is either physically ill or disturbed at his mind, it can actively or passively affect his performance at work. For example, those who are physically ill might have limitations at work, and they naturally have to strain to their extremes to compensate their weakness. This extra effort which they deliver at work is most likely would result in both physical and mental exhaustion, and eventually they would become more sick. The second reason why I am against going to work when an employee is not well is because they are highly potential of making his co-workers unwell. To be clearer, an employee is mostly in touch with his work chain, which includes his superiors, colleagues and subordinates. It is almost clear that there would be higher chances of spreading the disease causing organisms to others, when an employee is infected. Therefore, his presence at work not only is harmful to himself, but also vulnerable to those around him. I need to admit that there are employees who are ill, for example, with cardiac problems and obesity are able to work longer and safer even if they are ill. This happens in job situations which are highly demanding, stressful or with a sense of commitment. To conclude, though there are situations which employees can work even if they are ill, I think in most cases, it is an unwise idea as it proves detrimental for both those who do that and to those who are in touch with them at work.
It is common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
even if they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ill
as this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to accomplish vital tasks. It is
however
argued that the situation is vulnerable for both those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do this and those around them, and
hence
they should abstain from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ill
.
Consider using commas to set off 'too', if you want to emphasize an abrupt change of thought.
I too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the opinion to a greater extent.

The
first
reason behind my argument is
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
productiveness of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is
directly
related to his physiological and psychological
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
. To be precise, if an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is either
physically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ill
or disturbed at his mind, it can
actively
or
passively
affect his performance at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For example
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
physically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ill
might have limitations at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, and they
naturally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
strain to their extremes to compensate their weakness. This extra effort which they deliver at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is most likely would result in both physical and mental exhaustion, and
eventually
they would become more sick.

The second reason why I am against going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is not well is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
highly
potential of making his co-workers unwell. To be clearer, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is
mostly
in touch with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
chain, which includes his superiors, colleagues and subordinates. It is almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there would be higher chances of spreading the disease causing organisms to others, when an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is infected
.
Therefore
, his presence at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is harmful to himself,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
vulnerable to those around him.

I need to admit that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ill
,
for example
, with cardiac problems and obesity are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
longer and safer even if they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ill
. This happens in job situations which are
highly
demanding, stressful or with a sense of commitment.

To conclude
, though there are situations which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
even if they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ill
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in most cases
, it is an unwise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
as it proves detrimental for both those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do that and to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in touch with them at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
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IELTS essay High job demands, stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill. This way they accomplish important tasks, but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves. In your opinion should people go to work if they are sick?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
345 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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