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In some countries Young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and strating University studies.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to this ?

In some countries Young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and strating University studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to this? BDY9
In certain nations yonger individuals are motivated for working or travelling for a year between completing high school and starting University education. There are several postive and detroital effects for this will discuss in coming paragraphs. To begin with, There are many advantages for a people who want to work or travel between finishing secondary school and beginning University studies. Firstly, working for a year improves the knowledge and we get experience for doing job in any of the recruited company. Secondly, traveling can communicate with a lot of pupils for different society and community. Moreover, we can know different new culture and traditions not only this but also can know about festivals celebrated in that place. Finally, working in any company can benefit financial aid and can earn money for managing our expenses. On the other hand, there is also a negative effects for this. The main reason is considered to be expenses will be high for travelling to other place. however, only the rich people can travel poor cannot be travelled because of they financial situation. The next disadvantage is now a days people are suffering more because of the living conditions over there that is mainly temperature and environment. In addition, we have to be far away from parents this creates the loneliness and cannot concentrate in work. To conclude, there are several factors that shows both positive and negative effects for working or travelling to other place.
In certain nations
yonger
individuals
are motivated
for
working
or travelling for a year between completing high school and starting University education. There are several
postive
and
detroital
effects for this will discuss in coming paragraphs.

To
begin
with, There are
many
advantages for a
people
who want to work or travel between finishing secondary school and beginning University studies.
Firstly
,
working
for a year
improves
the
knowledge and
we
get
experience for doing job in any of the recruited
company
.
Secondly
, traveling can communicate with
a lot of
pupils for
different
society and community.
Moreover
, we can know
different
new culture and traditions not
only
this
but
also
can know about festivals celebrated in that place.
Finally
,
working
in any
company
can benefit financial aid and can earn money for managing our expenses.

On the other hand
, there is
also
a
negative
effects for this. The main reason
is considered
to be expenses will be high for travelling to other place.
however
,
only
the rich
people
can travel poor cannot
be travelled
because of they
financial situation. The
next
disadvantage is
now a days
people
are suffering more
because
of the living conditions over there
that is
mainly
temperature and environment.
In addition
, we
have to
be far away from parents this creates the loneliness and cannot concentrate in work.
To conclude
, there are several factors that
shows
both
positive
and
negative
effects for
working
or travelling to other place.
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IELTS essay In some countries Young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and strating University studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to this?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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