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It is said that watching TV is a waste of time for children. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

It is said that watching TV is a waste of time for children. 7aq6X
It is undeniable that adults should concern about their kids to excess the right channels as considerable improvement of technologies and rapid globalisation which make tv has multiple positives and negatives information for them to look at. From my point of view, children to watching TV, it could give you both advantages and disadvantages. The following paragraphs will support my opinion in outlined. As I said from the beginning, It could be advantage if adults can point the right education, entertainment and relaxation information for example discovery, cartoon and kids song channels. In the other hand, If the kids were watched not right information it could be bad for the kids. This included swear words and 18+ story that the kids shouldn't hear. as the kids will be remember that to use in the wrong situation. In conclusion, it could be both in a good way and bad way depending on adult pointing what channels. Otherwise, kids will take whether good or bad information if adult wasn't there to guide them to the right way.
It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
should concern about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to excess the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
channels as considerable improvement of technologies and rapid
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
has multiple positives and negatives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for them to look at. From my point of view, children to watching TV, it could give you both advantages and disadvantages. The following paragraphs will support my opinion in outlined.

As I said from the beginning, It could be advantage if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
can point the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
education, entertainment and relaxation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for example
discovery, cartoon and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
song channels.

In the other hand, If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. This included swear words and 18+ story that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
shouldn't hear.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
will be
Consider using the past participle "remembered"?
remember
that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
situation.

In conclusion
, it could be both in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way depending on adult pointing what channels.
Otherwise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
will take whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
if adult wasn't there to guide them to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
way.
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IELTS essay It is said that watching TV is a waste of time for children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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