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It is often said that nowadays children are undisciplined because their parents are busy with their career. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In this contemporary era, due to the hustle and bustle lives people have to work harder to make their livings smooth. As a result, they do not get time to spend for their children. Some people claims that children are becoming mischievous due to the busyness of their parents. I strongly agree with this sentence. My inclination is elaborated in ensuing paragraphs. To begin with, spending more space has proven to be successful in kids' growth. Such kind of commitment to children can be helpful to grow mentally and physically. Parents are able to guide their children and motivate to achieve their desire. The parents of Asian countries are significant evidence of this, where parents work hard and earn money to support their family, while at the same time unable to take care their children. Consequently, it can harm the career of children and make them to attract towards the unpleasant path. In addition, lessons learned from parents can shape a child’s character. Moreover, Career and social standing are significant, but not more than the future of a kid, and that is the reason parents should maintain a balance in their professional and family life. It has been observed that, some parents are spending more time in social activities at the cost of their child's precious time. However, it cannot be neglected that to have an involvement in such events also helps. As a result, careers of children gets sacrificed. Furthermore, few parents have started the practice of keeping their children in boarding schools due to their unavailability. It is undoubted fact that such schools can help to make studies more, but moral values can be taught by parents and family only. Along with the study, such ethics also plays a vital role in order to grow kids. To conclude, parenting the art and science of nurturing. The significant role of parents starts with guiding children and goes up to but not limited to enhancing their careers along with the teaching the morals of life.
In this contemporary era, due to the hustle and bustle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work harder to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their livings smooth.
As a result
, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claims that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are becoming mischievous due to the busyness of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this sentence. My inclination
is elaborated
in ensuing paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, spending more space has proven to be successful in kids' growth. Such kind of commitment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be helpful to grow mentally and
physically
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are able to guide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and motivate to achieve their desire. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
of Asian countries are significant evidence of this, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and earn money to support their family, while at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
unable to take care their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Consequently
, it can harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to attract towards the unpleasant path.

In addition
, lessons learned from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can shape a child’s character.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Career
and social standing are significant,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not more than the future of a kid, and
that is
the reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should maintain a balance in their professional and family life. It has
been observed
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in social activities at the cost of their child's precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, it cannot
be neglected
that to have an involvement in such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
sacrificed.

Furthermore
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
the practice of keeping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in boarding schools due to their unavailability. It
is undoubted
fact that such schools can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
studies more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
moral values can
be taught
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. Along with the study, such ethics
also
plays a vital role in order to grow kids.

To conclude
, parenting the art and science of nurturing. The significant role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with guiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and goes up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not limited to enhancing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
along with the teaching the morals of life.
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IELTS essay It is often said that nowadays children are undisciplined because their parents are busy with their career. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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