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Some people prefer to be self-employed whereas other like working for companies or institutions which is a better approach?

Work plays an essential role in everyone's life. Self employment is preferred by a number of people while opponents give preference to the companies or institutions. I will discuss both views in upcoming paragraphs. let us deliberate the compelling reasons which will lead towards a logical inference. To embark on, there are myriad of reasons to shore light upon the former proclivity. To plunge into, the most intrinsic one is that self-depndent. To justify, when masses work alone that time they can make own decisions because multitudes have self dependent and without any interference they can complete their work.
Work plays an essential role in everyone's life. Self employment
is preferred
by a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
while opponents give preference to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or institutions. I will discuss both views in upcoming paragraphs.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us deliberate the compelling reasons which will lead towards a logical inference.

To embark on, there are myriad of reasons to shore light upon the former proclivity. To plunge into, the most intrinsic one is that self-depndent. To justify, when masses work alone that time they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
multitudes have self dependent and without any interference they can complete their work.
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IELTS essay Some people prefer to be self-employed whereas other like working for companies or institutions which is a better approach?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
99 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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