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It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? How can this situation be improved?

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? How can this situation be improved? 15AW7
Unprecedented number of revolutinizing in the field of studying subjects has transfirmed the way of people choosing future job. In the background of such course and events, many science students are becoming rare in todays life. Thus, lack of financial incentives and difficulties can be a root couses of this issue and with rising salaries in mind government can easily tackle this problem easily, i believe. Difficulties to cope with science subjects and lack of salary are the two main root couses of this cancern. The former one, stydents always find hardicapt to learn science subjects as they are extreamily challanging and often students who wont to study scinese need some inborn talent and patience. The latter one is no doubt deficency of salary which is one of the main factor to encougrage student to study scinese subjects. Despite the fact that they are dufficult. Researchers findings about 'the factors of choosing subjects' in the UK showed that around 70% of young students choose subjects due to its future job as well as salary and thus could be a good example here. Notwithstanding, optimum solution could be seperating schools from ordinary schools. To be more precise, there should be social subjects based schools which are based on teaching this subjects more houres in contrast with ordinary schools and this should be applied in high schools also. As a result of these students who want to choose sciense subjects in ths future will make students well avare of them. The second outcome could be rising salaries for future job connected with science subjects. Targeting at increasing number of students who show their intelegance at sciense subjects, government should increase payments for them in the future. A stricking example could be Russia and the USA here. In Russia there is lack of students who study science nowdays because of very low salary. However, in the USA sciense people paid a lot and many youngs are engaged in studying sciense. To conclude, low salary and difficulties of studying sciense are the main causes of this problem. Therefore there are some good ways to solve this issue. Government should rise salary and separat schools as a science based one, in my opinion.
Unprecedented number of
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revolutinizing
in the field of studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
has
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transfirmed
the way of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
job. In the background of such course and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are becoming rare in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
life.
Thus
, lack of financial incentives and difficulties can be a root
Possible spelling mistake found.
couses
of this issue and with rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
in mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
easily
tackle this problem
easily
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe.

Difficulties to cope with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
are the two main root
Possible spelling mistake found.
couses
of this
Possible spelling mistake found.
cancern
. The former one,
Possible spelling mistake found.
stydents
always find
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardicapt
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
extreamily
Possible spelling mistake found.
challanging
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean the verb "want"?
wont
to study
Possible spelling mistake found.
scinese
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inborn talent and patience. The latter one is no doubt
Possible spelling mistake found.
deficency
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
which is one of the main factor to
Possible spelling mistake found.
encougrage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to study
Possible spelling mistake found.
scinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Despite the fact that they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
dufficult
. Researchers findings about 'the factors of choosing subjects' in the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that around 70% of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
due to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
job
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and
thus
could be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here.

Notwithstanding, optimum solution could be
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
from ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. To be more precise, there should be social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
which
are based
on teaching this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
more
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "hours", the plural form of the noun 'hour'?
houres
in contrast
with ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and this should
be applied
in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
also
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to choose
Possible spelling mistake found.
sciense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
ths
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
well
Possible spelling mistake found.
avare
of them. The second outcome could be rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
job connected with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Targeting at increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
intelegance
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
sciense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should increase payments for them in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. A
Possible spelling mistake found.
stricking
example could be Russia and the USA here. In Russia there is lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowdays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
However
, in the USA
Possible spelling mistake found.
sciense
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
paid a lot and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "young", the plural form of the noun 'young'?
youngs
are engaged
in studying
Possible spelling mistake found.
sciense
.

To conclude
, low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and difficulties of studying
Possible spelling mistake found.
sciense
are the main causes of this problem.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ways to solve this issue.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
separat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
based one, in my opinion.
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IELTS essay It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? How can this situation be improved?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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