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It is now possible for scientist and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development.

It is now possible for scientist and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development. E37Vr
Thanks to technological development in transport sector, people can travel to remote virgin eras, like South Pole. Visiting aim not only before of scientific reasons but also tourism only. Owing to this situation there is both positive and negative results happening. Visiting remote natural areas can provide that many advantages to us. To illustrate, new sources can be discovered in addition we can learn much more things about our planet. Thanks new environment's discover we can also discover new nature habitats maybe new variety of plants even new animals that we never seen before. Apart from that, thanks to human traffic the environment may be become popular. Thanks to tourism, does not matter scientist or holiday this place will be known better. That's mean if there is some problem causing thanks to media it can be solve. For example, if there is something happen because of climate change the scientists can warm all of us according to data they have. On the other hand, this new human population might be cause bad outcomes. As we know human had destroyed many natural environment areas since the beginning. Therefore it may be for near future places as well. Due to human effect not only nature will can effect but also animals will be disturb. Air pollution, non organic wastes, hunting, carbon emission etc. These are all bad conditions for animals as well. For instance, if this area will be able to host many people for any reason, some capitals will be ready for building some facilities in order to earn money. Such as hotels. That's mean people going to change the natural habitat of the areas and this is huge disaster for that era. To sum up, thanks to some advastment people can reach almost everywhere nowadays. There is both negative and positive effects for everyone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thanks
to technological development in transport sector,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can travel to remote virgin eras,
A determiner is probably missing here: "like the South Pole".
like South Pole
. Visiting aim not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
of scientific reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. Owing to this situation there is both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results happening.

Visiting remote natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can provide that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to us. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
sources can
be discovered
in addition
we can learn much more things about our planet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thanks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environment's discover we can
also
discover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
nature habitats maybe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
variety of plants even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
animals that we never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Apart from that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thanks
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
traffic the environment may
be become
popular.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thanks
to tourism, does not matter scientist or holiday this place will
be known
better. That's mean if there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problem causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thanks
to media it can be
Consider using the past participle "solved"?
solve
.
For example
, if there is something happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the scientists can warm all of us according to data they have.

On the other hand
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
population might
Did you mean "because"?
be cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
outcomes. As we know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
natural environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
since the beginning.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it may be for near future places
as well
. Due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
effect not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
nature
Two modal verbs connected. Did you mean: "will, can", "will" or "can"?
will can
effect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
animals will be
Consider using the past participle "disturbed"?
disturb
. Air pollution,
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non organic
wastes, hunting, carbon emission etc. These are all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
conditions for animals
as well
.
For instance
, if this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
will be able to host
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for any reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
capitals will be ready for building
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
facilities in order to earn money. Such as hotels. That's mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the natural habitat of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and this is huge disaster for that era. To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thanks
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
advastment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can reach almost everywhere nowadays. There is both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects for everyone.
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IELTS essay It is now possible for scientist and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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