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It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. 2pGj
It is believed by some people that children should be taught national history instead of global history. From my point of view, I disagree with those people because both of them are equally essential for young learners. On the one hand, it is unequivocal that having thorough insights into local history is a useful tool for children to develop their patriotism. Take primary students in Vietnam as an example, who learn about how their ancestors defended their land against outside intruders and reclaimed sovereignty. As a result, those young citizens are to take pride in their origin and treasure the life they have today. Additionally, a deep knowledge of domestic history also plays a key role in preserving traditional values and identities which is being deteriorated in this globalized world. On the other hand, I reckon that learning about world history shares equal importance just as local one. Acquiring knowledge about the world’s past events equips students with a more well-rounded perspective of life. Lessons about the World War or Feminism protest against women’s abuse and discrimination would help those learners enhance their understanding about various aspects of the world. Furthermore, discovering other countries’ historical backgrounds would benefit young learners in their future career. Students accumulating knowledge of this particular field at an early age would possess a golden selling point to work for foreign enterprises, especially those who highly value company culture like Japan. In conclusion, it seems to me that the significance of domestic and international history cannot be brought into comparison to see which one is more necessary because they have distinctively equal meanings to children
It
is believed
by
some
people
that children should
be taught
national
history
instead
of global
history
. From my point of view, I disagree with those
people
because
both of them are
equally
essential for young learners.

On the one hand, it is unequivocal that having thorough insights into local
history
is a useful tool for children to develop their patriotism. Take primary students in Vietnam as an example, who learn about how their ancestors defended their land against outside intruders and reclaimed sovereignty.
As a result
, those young citizens are to take pride in their origin and treasure the life they have
today
.
Additionally
, a deep knowledge of domestic
history
also
plays a key role in preserving traditional values and identities which is
being deteriorated
in this globalized world.

On the other hand
, I reckon that learning about
world
history
shares equal importance
just
as local one. Acquiring knowledge about the
world’s
past
events
equips students with a more well-rounded perspective of life. Lessons about the
World
War or Feminism protest against women’s abuse and discrimination would
help
those learners enhance their understanding about various aspects of the
world
.
Furthermore
, discovering other countries’ historical backgrounds would benefit young learners in their future career. Students accumulating knowledge of this particular field at an early age would possess a golden selling point to work for foreign enterprises,
especially
those who
highly
value
company
culture like Japan.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that the significance of domestic and international
history
cannot
be brought
into comparison to
see
which one is more necessary
because
they have
distinctively
equal meanings to children
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IELTS essay It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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