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It is more important for school children to learn local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is more important for school children to learn local history than world history. W9Ra
History is a gift which is necessary to receive it so student should learn history not only of their country but also of whole world. This essay is going to discuss views in further paragraphs. To commence with, tutee should learn history because it encourages them to stay brave like their freedom fighters also help to enhance the general knowledge. For example, there are many test on international level which commonly ask the question related to background of any nation. If tutors teach the history of whole world, it can be prove beneficial for candidate. Addition to, children can enjoy their travel when they move to other country if they have efficient information regarding other s tradition, culture or history also help to adjust in their lifestyle. For instance, student immigrate to canada for higher study, if they have efficient information regarding their history they can easily adjust there without hurting anybody sentiments. To conclude, pupil should study whole world history because it helps to improve once strength.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is a gift which is necessary to receive it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
student should learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
of their country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
of whole world. This essay is going to discuss views in
further
paragraphs. To commence with,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tutee
should learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it encourages them to stay brave like their freedom fighters
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to enhance the general knowledge.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "tests"?
test
on international level which
commonly
Consider using "ask" instead.
ask the question
related to background of any nation. If tutors teach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of whole world, it can be
Consider using the past participle "proved", "proven"?
prove
beneficial for candidate. Addition to, children can enjoy their travel when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to other country if they have efficient information regarding other s tradition, culture or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to adjust in their lifestyle.
For instance
, student immigrate to
Possible spelling mistake found.
canada
for higher study, if they have efficient information regarding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
they can
easily
adjust there without hurting anybody sentiments.
To conclude
, pupil should study whole world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
once strength.
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IELTS essay It is more important for school children to learn local history than world history.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
168 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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