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It is irrefutably true that these days most companies are approaching strategies such as sponsoring sports events to increase their sales.

It is irrefutably true that these days most companies are approaching strategies such as sponsoring sports events to increase their sales. Some people opine that sports sponsorship is a great marketing tool to promote their products; however, others believe that this trend has tremendous drawbacks. I bolster the former opinion and think that this strategy is not only promoting the company primarily but also providing a platform for passionate players. To begin with, sports sponsorship is considered as a lucrative industry across the globe. It is worth noting that it gives mutual benefits to both parties. While the company gets a golden opportunity to access a more comprehensive number of audience and increase their sales, sports committees get a chance to use that money to develop infrastructure and help the players financially. For example, Hyundai, who was the main sponsor of the last world cup cricket match, invested billions of monies in sponsoring the event and recorded an accelerated rate of sales turnover after the series. On the other hand, the International Cricket Committee used a larger portion of received money to develop cricket in low - income countries.
It is
irrefutably
true that these days most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are approaching strategies such as sponsoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
to increase their sales.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sponsorship is a great marketing tool to promote their products;
however
, others believe that this trend has tremendous drawbacks. I bolster the former opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this strategy is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
promoting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
primarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
providing a platform for passionate players.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sponsorship
is considered
as a lucrative industry across the globe. It is worth noting that it gives mutual benefits to both parties. While the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a golden opportunity to access a more comprehensive number of audience and increase their sales,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
committees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that money to develop infrastructure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the players
financially
.
For example
, Hyundai, who was the main sponsor of the last world cup cricket match, invested billions of monies in sponsoring the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
and recorded an accelerated rate of sales turnover after the series.
On the other hand
, the International Cricket Committee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a larger portion of received money to develop cricket in low
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
income countries.
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IELTS essay It is irrefutably true that these days most companies are approaching strategies such as sponsoring sports events to increase their sales.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
189 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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