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It is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible.

It is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. pbrD2
Currently, there have been many arguments about children going to school early or waiting until school age. In my opinion, children should go to school early because it has many benefits, especially in today's modern society. Firstly, going to school early helps children form good habits. They will have to get up at 6 o'clock go to school and not sleep in. When going to school, students are also guided by the teacher to exercise. Over time, these activities will form good habits for them to develop. Secondly, the children will meet and make more friends. They will be developing social skills such as communication skills to make them more active. Because many children don't go to school until school age, which makes them taciturn and quiet. Moreover, they are in the process of developing both mentally and physically. They acquire knowledge faster than we and they take care of everything around them so they need a person who teaches and answers all their questions. The teacher will be their guide. Teachers can give them brain activity through quiz games that both help them better understand the outside world and help them become eager to learn or through physical activities that bring people closer together. In short, sending children to school early is a good thing to do. Although there are disadvantages, its advantages cannot be denied, because it will help children a lot in the future.
Currently
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguments about
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children
going to
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school
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early
or waiting until
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school
age. In my opinion,
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children
should go to
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school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits,
especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern society.
Firstly
, going to
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school
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early
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helps
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children
form
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good
habits. They will
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have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up at 6 o'clock go to
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school
and not sleep in. When going to
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school
, students are
also
guided by the teacher to exercise. Over time, these activities will form
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits for them to develop.
Secondly
, the
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children
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more friends. They will be developing social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more active.
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Because
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many
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children
don't go to
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school
until
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school
age, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them taciturn and quiet.
Moreover
, they are in the process of developing both mentally and
physically
. They acquire knowledge faster than
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
we and
they take care of everything around them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they need a person who teaches and answers all their questions. The teacher will be their guide. Teachers can give them brain activity through quiz games that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them better understand the outside world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them become eager to learn or through physical activities that bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
closer together. In short, sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing to do. Although there are disadvantages, its advantages cannot
be denied
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a lot in the future.

IELTS essay It is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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