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It is important for children to learn what is right and what is wrong at an early age. punishment is necessary to help them learn the disntinction. To extent do you agree? what sort of punishment should be given?

In recent time, children are learnable especially from their mistakes. Children have to know what is right and what is wrong at an early age rather than being punished. In this essay I will discuss in detail what the benefits of punishment and what kind of punishment might parents do. On the other hand, punishment is not the only way for learning children. If parents keep punish their children on a little thing they might do, children will get a hate toward their parents. So, Parents must talk to their children carefully and tell them what is wrong and what is right. For Example, if a child breaks a cup, his mom must not hit him. She needs to warn him to stop doing this if he did that purposely. To avoid children hate toward their parents so that parents should treat them carefully. Once parents feel that their Children need a lot of time to be learned, they should make specific time for them. As children feel about their parent care, they will stop doing bad things immediately. In my Opinion, Punishment is very important for children but it should not be tough so that children will be scared. It should not be on a bad way such as: hit them, prevent them from going outside or treat them bad. All of these types of punishment will not let children listen to their parents. For Example, if a child spits on his father face, his father hits him, the child will not listen to his father again because he gets scared. children are angles, if their parents treat them right, they will listen to their parents So, control them will not be hard. There are other ways of punishment rather than the ones as mentioned before. Parents should take care of their children until they grow in order to get rid of being punished their children and to keep their children safe. Because a punishment will leave a bad impact on children.
In recent time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are learnable
especially
from their mistakes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
know what is right and what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
at an early age
rather
than
being punished
. In this essay I will discuss in detail what the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
and what kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way for learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
punish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
thing they might do,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a hate toward their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
talk to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
carefully
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and what is right.
For Example
, if a child breaks a cup, his mom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not hit him. She needs to warn him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
doing this if he did that
purposely
. To avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
hate toward their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should treat them
carefully
. Once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
feel that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to
be learned
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
specific time for them. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
care, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
things immediately.

In my Opinion,
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Punishment
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should not be tough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
be scared
. It should not be on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
way such as: hit them,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from going outside or treat them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
. All of these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
listen to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
For Example
, if a child spits on his father face, his father hits him, the child will not listen to his father again
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
scared.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
children
are angles, if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
treat them right, they will listen to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, control them will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.

There are other ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
rather
than the ones as mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
until they grow in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of
being punished
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
safe.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay It is important for children to learn what is right and what is wrong at an early age. punishment is necessary to help them learn the disntinction. To extent do you agree? what sort of punishment should be given?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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