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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? DlVJk
In this day and age, children have to distinguish between good and bad behavior in the early years of their lives. Even though it's quite difficult for them, their parents also use different ways of punishment in order to make them know this distinction. From my point of view, not only can punishment sometimes has a positive impact on children, but it also causes harmful effects. There are two types of punishment: positive and negative punishment. On the one hand, positive punishments can give a rise in awareness among children. When they do wrong things such as telling lies or imitating negative behavior from society, fitting punishments are imposed by their parents so that they can realize their mistakes and avoid bad behavior. Moreover, the internet has been developing more and more in recent years, which means children are easily influenced by many kinds of games and programs on the Internet, especially social media. From these things, they can see a variety of videos on Youtube or Facebook and they hardly avoid violent films which can cause changes in their personality. What parents should do is to prevent them from watching this kind of film, and advise them to watch movies for kids like cartoons, folk tales, . . . and don't let them use mobile phones too much. Besides, speech and educational lessons will bring effective results for children. To give an example, if they are disobedient, we can treat them by not giving them favorite candy or not permitting them to hang out. On the other hand, in terms of harsh punishment, some parents tend to use something to hit them and leave serious bruises on their bodies. This way is not appreciated because it leads to deep depressions, mental and physical damage that they have to face up to danger and violence during their childhood. They may feel afraid for a long time due to this obsession, so they may become angry with their parents as well as their friends. In fact, parents should not hit, slap or spank their child because they will feel the pain of retribution. As evidence, doing household chores is considered as light treatment for them without hurting. To draw the conclusion, punishment brings many benefits in teaching children at an early age, but we can not avoid its drawbacks, it depends on the way parents do with them. Children should know what is right and what is wrong, parents can punish them in an effective way in order to correct their behavior and bring them up in educational conditions.
In this day and age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
distinguish between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
in the early years of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Even though
it's quite difficult for them, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them know this distinction. From my point of view, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
causes harmful effects.

There are two types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
can give a rise in awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. When they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
things such as telling lies or imitating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
from society, fitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are imposed
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can realize their mistakes and avoid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
.
Moreover
, the internet has been developing more and more in recent years, which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
easily
influenced by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of games and programs on the Internet,
especially
social media. From these things, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a variety of videos on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
or
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Facebook and
they hardly avoid violent films which can cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their personality. What
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should do is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from watching this kind of film, and advise them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies for kids like cartoons, folk tales
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile phones too much.
Besides
, speech and educational lessons will bring effective results for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To give an example, if they are disobedient, we can treat them by not giving them favorite candy or not permitting them to hang out.

On the other hand
, in terms of harsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
something to hit them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
serious bruises on their bodies. This way is not appreciated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it leads to deep depressions, mental and physical damage that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
and violence during their childhood. They may feel afraid for a long time due to this obsession,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they may become angry with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as well
as their friends. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not hit, slap or spank their child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will feel the pain of retribution. As evidence, doing household chores
is considered
as light treatment for them without hurting.

To draw the conclusion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits in teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at an early age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can not avoid its drawbacks, it depends on the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do with them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should know what is right and what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can punish them
Consider replacing "in an effective way" with the adverb for "effective"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an effective way
in order to correct their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
and bring them up in educational conditions.
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IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
428 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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