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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. What is your opinion? v.12

The world is full of people who are famous for music while others for their sports achievments. Is it only because of some God gifted talents? NO, I think a person needs a lot of training to refine his inborn talents. A large group of people supports the ideology of talents being inherited in genes. They think that if a person is good at sports or in music, he must have got these abillities from his parents or grandparents. Moreover, scientists who studied many aspects of DNA, claim that talents are passed on to the next generations like physical appearances and diseases. For instance Nusrat Fateh Ali khan a music star was born in a family of many great musician. On the other hand, those who differ with the above point of veiw think that sports and music is not restricted to certain families. They claim that with proper learning and education, anyone can be a star in games or create a beautiful melody. For example, a great tennis player named Khan, started learning the techniques of playing tennis when he was six years old and eventually, won a world title after 14 years of hardships and struggle. In conclusion, I must say sports and music is not strictly a natural gift but with years of hard work and guidance an inborn talent can be polished into excellance. A raw talent without sternous efforts of gaining perfection can not be successfull. Thus, inheritances as well as proper learning is important to become good particulary in sports and music.
The world is full of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
while others for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
achievments. Is it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
God gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
? NO, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a person needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
training to refine his inborn talents.

A large group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
supports the ideology of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
being inherited
in genes. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if a person is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
or in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
these abillities from his parents or grandparents.
Moreover
, scientists who studied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of DNA, claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
are passed
on to the
next
generations like physical appearances and diseases.
For instance
Nusrat Fateh Ali khan a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
star
was born
in a family of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great musician.

On the other hand
, those who differ with the above point of veiw
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is not restricted to certain families. They claim that with proper learning and education, anyone can be a star in games or create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
melody.
For example
, a great tennis player named Khan,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
learning the techniques of playing tennis when he was six years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and
eventually
, won a world title after 14 years of hardships and struggle.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is not
strictly
a natural gift
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with years of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and guidance an inborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
can
be polished
into excellance. A raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
without sternous efforts of gaining perfection can not be successfull.
Thus
, inheritances
as well
as proper learning is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
particulary in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
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Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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