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It is generally accepted that families are not close as they used to be. Gove some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought close together.

It is commonly seen that nowadays, the families are not close as they suppose to be. There are many reasons behind this change and few of them are summarizing below from my point of view and suggestions to bring them close together. Initially, One of the main cause that the families are not close as before is the concept of a nuclear family. In which only parents and their children are included so they do not get a chance to mingle with their relatives. This can make them even unaware of their immediate relatives and also reduces the bondage with them. To solve such things, gatherings on occasions play a major role to interact with family members. Moreover they do get a good bond with other members. Secondly, The gap inthe families today is due to higher education other than home country and working personnel abroad. This diminishes the interpersonal relationship among the person. For example in Kerala, one of the state in India the surveillance indicates that either one or more persons in one family amongst 80% of families are away from their loved one. However this is a fact, the use of modern technologies such as use of mobile phones and advancement of social medias are making them close even if they are very far. Also a frequent contact making a good interpersonal relationship thus members can come close even wherever they are in the world. In conclusion, Eventhough generally it is seen that the families are not close as they used to be due to the concept of nuclear family and impact of higher education and working people abroad; The advancement of social media and gatherings on occasions will bring them close together wherever they are.
It is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
as they suppose to be. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and few of them are summarizing below from my point of view and suggestions to bring them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
together.
Initially
, One of the main cause that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
is the concept of a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. In which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
parents and their children
are included
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to mingle with their relatives. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them even unaware of their immediate relatives and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the bondage with them. To solve such things, gatherings on occasions play a major role to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
they do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
bond with other members.
Secondly
, The gap
Possible spelling mistake found.
inthe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is due to higher education other than home country and working personnel abroad. This diminishes the interpersonal relationship among the person.
For example
in Kerala, one of the state in India the surveillance indicates that either one or more persons in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Do not mix variants of the same word (‘amongst’ and ‘among’) within a single text.
amongst
80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are away from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
this is a fact, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of modern technologies such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile phones and advancement of social medias are making them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
even if they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
far.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
a frequent contact making a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
interpersonal relationship
thus
members can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
even wherever they are in the world.
In conclusion
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
generally
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be due to the concept of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and impact of higher education and working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
abroad; The advancement of social media and gatherings on occasions will bring them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
together wherever they are.
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IELTS essay It is generally accepted that families are not close as they used to be. Gove some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought close together.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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