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It is frequently argued that the lifestyle has been changed vastly by new technologies and has become more sedentary

It is frequently argued that the lifestyle has been changed vastly by new technologies and has become more sedentary 0Epmn
It is frequently argued that the lifestyle has been changed vastly by new technologies and has become more sedentary. Consequently, this way of living could have endangered human well-being. I completely agree with this and think that new technologies have become harmful to people. Firstly, computers have become an inevitable part of daily routine and sitting for an extended period in front of them could cause excessive obesity, which is the origin of some chronic diseases. In other words, severe dependency of humans on computers in both fields of working and entertainment could lead to sedentary behavior that is not compatible with human physiology and increases the chances of gaining weight, which has a bad influence on medical conditions. For example, according to recent researches, one of the reasons for type II diabetes is being overweight caused by inactivity. Thus, human life has become too reliant on computers, and being still in front of computers makes people obese and could cause sickness. Secondly, overusing technologies might lead to sleep deprivation in individuals and could be detrimental to their wellness. To paraphrase, inactivity caused by excessive usage of digital screens, especially cell phones, disrupts the order of the human body and decreases the hours of sleeping, and damages well-being in various ways. For instance, it has been proven that one could suffer from high blood pressure because of sleeplessness. So, working for long hours with digital screens, people may lose their ability to sleep well, which damages their health. In conclusion, I firmly believe that the latest digital innovations, such as computers and mobile phones, are sources of lesser physical activity that could irreversibly hurt people's health, such as, suffer from excess weight gain and inadequate sleep.
It is
frequently
argued that the lifestyle has been
changed
vastly
by new technologies and has
become
more sedentary.
Consequently
, this way of living could have endangered
human
well-being. I completely
agree
with this and
think
that new technologies have
become
harmful to
people
.

Firstly
, computers have
become
an inevitable part of daily routine and sitting for an extended period in front of them could cause excessive obesity, which is the origin of
some
chronic diseases.
In other words
, severe dependency of
humans
on computers in both fields of working and entertainment could lead to sedentary behavior
that is
not compatible with
human
physiology and increases the chances of gaining weight, which has a
bad
influence on medical conditions.
For example
, according to recent researches, one of the reasons for type II diabetes is being overweight caused by inactivity.
Thus
,
human
life has
become
too reliant on computers, and being
still
in front of computers
makes
people
obese and could cause sickness.

Secondly
, overusing technologies might lead to sleep deprivation in individuals and could be detrimental to their wellness. To paraphrase, inactivity caused by excessive usage of digital screens,
especially
cell phones, disrupts the order of the
human
body and decreases the hours of sleeping, and damages well-being in various ways.
For instance
, it has
been proven
that one could suffer from high blood pressure
because
of sleeplessness.
So
, working for long hours with digital screens,
people
may lose their ability to sleep well, which damages their health.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that the latest digital innovations, such as computers and mobile phones, are sources of lesser physical activity that could
irreversibly
hurt
people
's health, such as, suffer from excess weight gain and inadequate sleep.
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IELTS essay It is frequently argued that the lifestyle has been changed vastly by new technologies and has become more sedentary

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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