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It is contented that, utilise capital on stimulating a healthy lifestyle is extra valuable because it assists to aware the people Instead of wasting money on the treatment of individual. While, I agree it is the best thing if the people are aware by paid health promotions, I also believe give money to those person who are ill this is also good way. To embark with, encouraging of a healthy lifestyle is also beneficial for people the internet and main point is government should provide more funding to health seminar which people have a weird time to time about their healthy lifestyle. Beside, higher authorities support the schools And also added the subject of health in studies of students where student can read and aware in their early stage about good health. For example they learn which eatable things are good or which is not able to eat and far away from detrimental impact of diseases. Lastly most of the government camps conduct competition in different towns where people participa

It is contented that, utilise capital on stimulating a healthy lifestyle is extra valuable because it assists to aware the people Instead of wasting money on the treatment of individual. While, I agree it is the best thing if the people are aware by paid health promotions, I also believe give money to those person who are ill this is also good way. To embark with, encouraging of a healthy lifestyle is also beneficial for people the internet and main point is government should provide more funding to health seminar which people have a weird time to time about their healthy lifestyle. Beside, higher authorities support the schools And also added the subject of health in studies of students where student can read and aware in their early stage about good health. For example they learn which eatable things are good or which is not able to eat and far away from detrimental impact of diseases. Lastly most of the government camps conduct competition in different towns where people participa g9pl
It is contented that, utilise capital on stimulating a healthy lifestyle is extra valuable because it assists to aware the people Instead of wasting money on the treatment of individual. While, I agree it is the best thing if the people are aware by paid health promotions, I also believe give money to those person who are ill this is also good way. To embark with, encouraging of a healthy lifestyle is also beneficial for people the internet and main point is government should provide more funding to health seminar which people have a weird time to time about their healthy lifestyle. Beside, higher authorities support the schools And also added the subject of health in studies of students where student can read and aware in their early stage about good health. For example they learn which eatable things are good or which is not able to eat and far away from detrimental impact of diseases. Lastly most of the government camps conduct competition in different towns where people participated in it and get knowledge about their health some time that competition keep prices to runner-up as a result more youngsters are attracted to it. On the other hand it is a good method those give money for treatment. firstly, most of people have not enough money and they are dependent on donations this is good for poor patient of the countries. Moreover, the government should support the funding for civil Hospital where people can take free medical facilities by doing this state are free from the medical issues for example, in Japan higher authority conducted free medical check up for their resident couple of time in a year by these people are careful about health and get easily treatment for heart diseases In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that both methods are equally important if promoting the healthy lifestyle people are aware before however, give money to ill patient is also good for country.
It
is contented
that,
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
capital on stimulating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
is extra valuable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it assists to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aware
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Instead
of wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the treatment of individual. While, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
it is the best thing if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aware
by paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
promotions, I
also
believe give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
Did you mean "this person" or "those people", "those persons"?
those person
who are ill this is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way.

To embark with, encouraging of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
is
also
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the internet and main point is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide more funding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
seminar which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a weird
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. Beside, higher authorities support the schools And
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
the subject of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in studies of students where student can read and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aware
in their early stage about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. For
The comma is probably missing here: "example, they".
example they
learn which eatable things are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
or which is not able to eat and far away from detrimental impact of diseases.
Lastly
most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
camps conduct competition in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
towns where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
participated in it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that competition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
prices to runner-up
as a result
more youngsters
are attracted
to it.

On the other hand
it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
method those give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for treatment.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they are dependent on donations this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for poor patient of the countries.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should support the funding for civil Hospital where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can take free medical facilities by doing this state are free from the medical issues
for example
, in Japan higher authority conducted free medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
up for their resident couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a year by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are careful about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
easily
treatment for heart diseases

In conclusion
, I would like to reiterate that both methods are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
if promoting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aware
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
however
, give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to ill patient is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for country.
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IELTS essay It is contented that, utilise capital on stimulating a healthy lifestyle is extra valuable because it assists to aware the people Instead of wasting money on the treatment of individual. While, I agree it is the best thing if the people are aware by paid health promotions, I also believe give money to those person who are ill this is also good way. To embark with, encouraging of a healthy lifestyle is also beneficial for people the internet and main point is government should provide more funding to health seminar which people have a weird time to time about their healthy lifestyle. Beside, higher authorities support the schools And also added the subject of health in studies of students where student can read and aware in their early stage about good health. For example they learn which eatable things are good or which is not able to eat and far away from detrimental impact of diseases. Lastly most of the government camps conduct competition in different towns where people participa

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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