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It is better to eat food which is produced by local farmers rather than transporting from the long distance and by doing the factory farming. Do you agree or disagree?

It is better to eat food which is produced by local farmers rather than transporting from the long distance and by doing the factory farming. R23wY
Food is of vital importance in the life of every organism. Since the existence of humans, colossal people are employed by farming. People have started to buy food from corporate sectors rather than the local farmers, which is contradicted by many people. Everybody devotes their entire life to earn money to buy nutritious three meals a day. Thus, people have a right to get healthy food from the market of their choice. The notion of factory farming is furnished by many people. However, in 'factory farming, ' plenty of chemicals are used which are hazardous to lives. Mostly, it employs farm machines rather than humans. The food produced is stored for many days in stores without any kind of spoilage; which is quite imperative. Moreover, the crops and vegetables are transported, from various states and countries, which are expensive. For example, apples are imported from foreign countries and some fruits like mangoes and litchi are transported to different states. Vegetables and fruits sold by local farmers are cultivated with the minimum amount of fertilizers and are fresh. Therefore, it is fit for consumption. Apart from this, local farmers are usually in high debt and need public support to come out of this quandary. For instance, many farmers in Punjab have committed suicide because they were unable to pay loans. Thus, people should buy food from local farmers not only because of its accessibility but also support the farmers. In summary, food produced by local farmers is not much contaminated with fertilizers and fresh items are sold. So, I reckon that it is better to eat food which is produced locally.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
is of vital importance in the life of every organism. Since the existence of humans, colossal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are employed
by farming.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from corporate sectors
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
, which
is contradicted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Everybody devotes their entire life to earn money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
nutritious three meals a day.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from the market of their choice. The notion of factory farming
is furnished
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, in 'factory farming,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of chemicals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
which are hazardous to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Mostly
, it employs farm machines
rather
than humans. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
produced
is stored
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
days in stores without any kind of spoilage; which is quite imperative.
Moreover
, the crops and vegetables
are transported
, from various states and countries, which are expensive.
For example
, apples
are imported
from foreign countries and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fruits like mangoes and litchi
are transported
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
states.

Vegetables and fruits sold by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
are cultivated
with the minimum amount of fertilizers and are fresh.
Therefore
, it
is fit
for consumption. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
are
usually
in high debt and need public support to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of this quandary.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
in Punjab have committed suicide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were unable to pay loans.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its accessibility
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
support the farmers.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
produced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
is not much contaminated with fertilizers and fresh items
are sold
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I reckon that it is better to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which
is produced
locally
.
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IELTS essay It is better to eat food which is produced by local farmers rather than transporting from the long distance and by doing the factory farming.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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