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Disadvantages of growing technology

Disadvantages of growing technology BakWj
As we know that IT is one of the sector that is developing immensely and at an alarming speed, Although a plethora of people believe that growing technology is advantageous for an efficient future I strongly disagree as it technology as only growing dangerous by the minute. Technology is not only effecting people on a physical level by causing headaches due to dangerous radiation but is also causing mental health issues by isolating an individual and also giving issues such as anxiety, internet has made lives easier but in my opinion this is causing lack of creativity and smart work among people, speaking technically Artificial intelligence which is a part of IT sector is turning more and more dangerous as it is now capable enough to read and enact human emotions, which therefore is a threat to humanity in different ways starting from unemployment. Apps like Instagram, Tik Tok, Facebook have surely made connectivity easy but has also decreased productivity in our youth to a devastating level as these social media apps are believed to be addictive causing in many mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, Social media is also having a very negative impact on today’s youth as it is normalizing unrealistic beauty standards. Not only that but there is a threat to personal security as it is very easy to invade a persons privacy using technology, this the reason why online frauds are growing at an alarming rate, and a significant number of people are using this technology to earn “easy money” by unlawful means instead of using it for lawful productivity. In conclusion, every invention as its positive and negative sides, it depends on the individual As to how he uses it to their benefit. Coming to the security issues precaution can evade any form of threat in this world and required measures could indeed be taken for escaping a catastrophe.
As we know that IT is one of the sector
that is
developing
immensely
and at an alarming speed, Although a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is advantageous for an efficient future I
strongly
disagree as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
growing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
by the minute.

Technology is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
effecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on a physical level by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causing
headaches due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
radiation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causing
mental health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
by isolating an individual and
also
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
such as anxiety, internet has made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causing
lack of creativity and smart work among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, speaking
technically
Artificial intelligence which is a part of IT sector is turning more and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to read and enact human emotions, which
therefore
is a threat to humanity in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways starting from unemployment.

Apps like Instagram,
Did you mean "TikTok" (= social networking app)?
Tik Tok
, Facebook have
surely
made connectivity easy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has
also
decreased productivity in our youth to a devastating level as these social media apps
are believed
to be addictive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causing
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mental health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
such as depression and anxiety, Social media is
also
having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s youth as it is normalizing unrealistic beauty standards.

Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is a threat to personal security as it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to invade a
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "persons'" or "person's"?
persons
privacy using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, this the reason why online frauds are growing at an alarming rate, and a significant number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to earn “easy money” by unlawful means
instead
of using it for lawful productivity.

In conclusion
, every invention as its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides, it depends on the individual

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
to how he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
it to their benefit. Coming to the security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
precaution can evade any form of threat in this world and required measures could
indeed
be taken
for escaping a catastrophe.
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IELTS essay Disadvantages of growing technology

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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