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It is believed that music can unite people of various cultures and those of specific age groups. I partly agree on this statement since there's a high possibility that disapproval might arise between the cultures on different types of music.

It is believed that music can unite people of various cultures and those of specific age groups. I partly agree on this statement since there's a high possibility that disapproval might arise between the cultures on different types of music. p1WK0
It is believed that music can unite people of various cultures and those of specific age groups. I partly agree on this statement since there's a high possibility that disapproval might arise between the cultures on different types of music. Unequivocally, music is associated with positive feelings, such as joy, happiness, love, and it is something that people enjoy conversing about, which explains why music tends to be the topic of our daily conversations. Apparently, when people find that they have similar music tastes, they feel somewhat connected with each other and that is already the basis of an enduring relationships. People do not necessarily ought to be of the same age to relish the music. It is not a surprise to see youngsters and the elderly visiting the same concerts and sharing their opinions with each other afterwards. After all, music is a root for more personal topics that helps both- young and older generations to get to know one another better. However, different types of music can be the reason for criticism among the cultures. That is to say, some types of music can be insulting to some cultures as it is thought to be inappropriate for them, thereby making people be of a negative opinion of those for whom the music seems to be normal. For instance, Muslims might disapprove rock-and-roll since for them it might convey obscene messages, while for Christians that music might be within their moral standards. By way of conclusion, even though music is an excellent way of unifying the elderly and the youth, the same cannot be said about the cultures. (272 words)
It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and those of specific age groups. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on this statement since there's a high possibility that disapproval
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
arise between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of music.

Unequivocally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is associated
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feelings, such as joy, happiness,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, and it is something that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy conversing about, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
tends to be the topic of our daily conversations.
Apparently
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find that they have similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
tastes, they feel somewhat connected with each other and
that is
already the basis of an enduring
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "relationship"?
relationships
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
do not
necessarily
ought to be of the same age to relish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. It is not a surprise to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
youngsters and the elderly visiting the same concerts and sharing their opinions with each other afterwards.
After all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a root for more personal topics that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
both- young and older generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know one another better.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can be the reason for criticism among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
That is
to say,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can be insulting to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be inappropriate for them, thereby making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
be of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
opinion of those for whom the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
seems to be normal.
For instance
, Muslims
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
disapprove rock-and-roll since for them it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
convey obscene messages, while for Christians that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be within their moral standards.

By way of conclusion,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an excellent way of unifying the elderly and the youth, the same cannot
be said
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. (272 words)
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IELTS essay It is believed that music can unite people of various cultures and those of specific age groups. I partly agree on this statement since there's a high possibility that disapproval might arise between the cultures on different types of music.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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