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It is believed by some people that university study plays a vital role to get an attractive job position while others thought gaining experience and enhanced soft skills are crucial. I personally believe completing tertiary education is more important.

It is believed by some people that university study plays a vital role to get an attractive job position while others thought gaining experience and enhanced soft skills are crucial. I personally believe completing tertiary education is more important. PRXQB
It is believed by some people that university study plays a vital role to get an attractive job position while others thought gaining experience and enhanced soft skills are crucial. I personally believe completing tertiary education is more important. Completing a university degree has numerous benefits for career growth. Firstly, tertiary education helps to get a deeper knowledge of different areas. Some professions need degrees to be able to get a job, for example, engineer, doctor, lawyer, and so on. In addition, university degrees help to get a higher salary than non-graduates and to be ahead in the competition of job exams. Thus, graduates will avail more opportunities than non-graduates in the career race. On the other hand, students, who avoid entering university, start their careers early and are able to gain more job market experience than their batch-mates at the same age, by improving their soft skills. Starting a career early means they will be earning money and supporting their family. Eventually, they can start their own family by marrying. On top of that, enhanced soft skills may put them in a better position for a job. Hence, starting an early career and soft skills can help to be self-dependent and an alternative income source for the family. In my opinion, tertiary education is beneficial for getting a dream job like being a doctor, engineer. Though avoiding university education can help them establish themselves early, they cannot do all types of jobs. In conclusion, some people think completing a university degree is important while others believe that experience and soft skills are advantageous to get attractive jobs.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
study plays a vital role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
position while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
gaining experience and enhanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are crucial. I
personally
believe completing tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Completing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
has numerous benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
growth.
Firstly
, tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a deeper knowledge of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
professions need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
for example
, engineer, doctor, lawyer, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a higher salary than non-graduates and to be ahead in the competition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
exams.
Thus
, graduates will avail more opportunities than non-graduates in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
race.

On the other hand
, students, who avoid entering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
and are able to gain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market experience than their batch-mates at the same age, by improving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
means they will be earning money and supporting their family.
Eventually
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family by marrying.
On top of that
, enhanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
may put them in a better position for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Hence
, starting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to be self-dependent and an alternative income source for the family.

In my opinion, tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is beneficial for getting a dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
like being a doctor, engineer. Though avoiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them establish themselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
, they cannot do all types of jobs.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
completing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
while others believe that experience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are advantageous to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
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IELTS essay It is believed by some people that university study plays a vital role to get an attractive job position while others thought gaining experience and enhanced soft skills are crucial. I personally believe completing tertiary education is more important.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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