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It is believed by people, children should learn how to become good person in the community from their parents, however other believe that mentors is more essential for this .discuss both view?

It is believed by people, children should learn how to become good person in the community from their parents, however other believe that mentors is more essential for this. 0ry5
It is undeniable that nowadays children learn more about the world from their guardians and also from mentors. According to, some people, parents must teach their offspring how to become better of community. However, others insist that education institutions is the best place to learn new things. In my opinion, I believe that school is the good place for students to learn about anything. I will analyse these perspectives and my opinion in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, those who consider that parents should teach their children how to be good member of society, they think so because, first and foremost, in contemporary era, many families play significant roles in order to teach moral values to their children, hence mostly grandparents teach their grandchildren how to behave with their fellowers and also with relatives, like, how to respect to seniors as well as learn the value of having patience in their life. which is play paramount role so as to make good image in the society. On the other hand, some people hold the view that school is indispensable for pupils to learn about how to become better people in the society. First of all, in recent times plethora of education institutions give good knowledge to students how to speak politely with their classmates in order to make good profile in the society. Apart from this, when children get admission in school, they encounter different kinds of social backgrounds classmates, that is provide opportunities to learners to improve their relationship among others cultures and castes students. Even, it also increase the sense of Brotherhood among the children. To conclude, although parents are more essential for children to learn how to stay in good manners, like, honestly, patience and many others, it will be more convenient, if pupils learn from their tutors how to behave with other because, it will definitely make positive image of them in the community.
It is undeniable that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more about the world from their guardians and
also
from mentors. According to,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their offspring how to become better of community.
However
, others insist that education institutions is the best place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new things. In my opinion, I believe that school is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
place for students to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about anything. I will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
these perspectives and my opinion in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, those who consider that parents should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
first
and foremost, in contemporary era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families play significant roles in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
moral values to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
hence
mostly
grandparents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their grandchildren how to behave with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
fellowers
and
also
with relatives, like, how to respect to seniors
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the value of having patience in their life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
is play paramount role
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
image in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the view that school is indispensable for pupils to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about how to become better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in recent times plethora of education institutions give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
knowledge to students how to speak
politely
with their classmates in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
profile in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Apart from this, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in school, they encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of social backgrounds classmates,
that is
provide opportunities to learners to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their relationship among others cultures and castes students. Even, it
also
Did you mean "increases"?
increase
the sense of Brotherhood among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
To conclude
, although parents are more essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to stay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners, like,
honestly
, patience and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others, it will be more convenient, if pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from their tutors how to behave with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
image of them in the community.
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IELTS essay It is believed by people, children should learn how to become good person in the community from their parents, however other believe that mentors is more essential for this.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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