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It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media rich society.

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media rich society. E3dO3
The influence of media on our lives has increased dramatically over the past 50 years with the development of technology. First, it was the newspaper, then the telegraph, radio, telephone, television and now the internet. Living in a media-rich society has not only good parts, but it also has drawbacks. Some of the advantages and disadvantages will be discussed in this order. One of the best advantages of media is the fact that information spreads around the world very fast. People can find out news about things that have happened on the other side of the world within few minutes from the moment of the event only by accessing the internet or by watching television. Another advantage of living in a world invaded by media consists of the huge amount of information delivered to citizens. Just by reading a newspaper, one finds news about many fields, for instance: sports, politics, economics, education and so on. Furthermore, being surrounded by media means that citizens are always aware of new products that appear on the market. However, living in a media-rich society does not come only with advantages, but disadvantages, too. For example, the information delivered to people through commercials is very often distorted in order to convince people to purchase a product they don’t even need. Furthermore, the content of the information can be disturbing for some people. Take as an example children who navigate on the internet: only by accessing an ordinary link, a pop-up window with adult content can open, without children’s permission or awareness. Also media is used by governments to manipulate people, controlling the information that is delivered by television to society. From these examples it can be concluded that media can have a bad influence on our lives. Following the analysis of the advantages and disadvantages it is obvious that media is a powerful tool and people need to be extremely aware of the power and influence media can have on our society.
The influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
has increased
dramatically
over the past 50 years with the development of technology.
First
, it was the newspaper, then the telegraph, radio, telephone, television and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the internet. Living in a media-rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
parts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has drawbacks.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages will
be discussed
in this order.

One of the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
spreads around the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can find out news about things that have happened on the other side of the world within few minutes from the moment of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
by accessing the internet or by watching television. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of living in a world invaded by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
consists of the huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
delivered to citizens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
by reading a newspaper, one finds news about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields,
for instance
: sports, politics, economics, education and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Furthermore
,
being surrounded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
means that citizens are always aware of new products that appear on the market.

However
, living in a media-rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
disadvantages, too.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
delivered to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through commercials is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
distorted in order to convince
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a product they don’t even need.
Furthermore
, the content of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can be disturbing for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Take as an example children who navigate on the internet:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
by accessing an ordinary link, a pop-up window with adult content can open, without children’s permission or awareness.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to manipulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, controlling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that
is delivered
by television to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. From these examples it can
be concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Following the analysis of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a powerful tool and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to be
extremely
aware of the power and influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can have on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media rich society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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