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It is argued by some people that celebrities should have their own private life

It is argued by some people that celebrities should have their own private life BwqdX
It is argued by some people that celebrities should have their own private life. In contrast, other individuals espouse the idea that the price of their fame is an invasion into their private lives. This is a controversial issue, but I, myself, believe that the first view may outweigh the second view. First and foremost, celebrities also have a human role as everyone. It is clear that the media doesn't have the access to publish all personal information about them. They have the right to manage their own lives, express their feelings and do things that they want. The media is allowed to write about celebrities' lives if and just if they receive the agreement of celebrities. For example, some famous people who are dating or suffering from an expression, breakup don’t want the fans, viewers, netizens to pay attention to that. Some media just focus on some negative sides of celebrities life instead of the positive one. Meanwhile, they need media attention to build their career, not to dishonor their values. On the other hand, some people argue that the price of their fame is an invasion into their private lives. It is no doubt that appearing in the media is one of the normal parts of celebrity life. If they stop getting media attention, it will affect their careers. However, the media should prevent posting things that celebrities themselves want to hide. Since the general public has too much interest in the personal lives of celebrities, the media caters to that need by giving celebrity news and gossip. Moreover, their private life should be a positive life. To illustrate that, famous people who have a large number of followers will influence the teenagers, youngsters by their life, their behaviour, so being kind, honest, creative and dynamic on the internet is one of their responsibilities with the public because their fans will imitate their idols. For instance, Taylor Swift inspired many young people by her music and her contributions to the public also. In conclusion, although there are valid reasons why celebrities should be given more privacy or not, I tend to believe that it is still more reasonable to conclude that celebrities should have their own private life.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
should have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In contrast
, other individuals espouse the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the price of their fame is an invasion into their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. This is a controversial issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I, myself, believe that the
first
view may outweigh the second view.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
also
have a human role as everyone. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
doesn't have the access to publish all personal information about them. They have the right to manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, express their feelings and do things that they want. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You should probably use: "are".
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to write about celebrities'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
if and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
if they receive the agreement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are dating or suffering from an expression, breakup don’t want the fans, viewers, netizens to pay attention to that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focus on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
instead
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one. Meanwhile, they need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
attention to build their career, not to dishonor their values.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the price of their fame is an invasion into their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. It is no doubt that appearing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is one of the normal parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
attention, it will affect their careers.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
posting things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
themselves want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
. Since the
Consider using "public".
general public
has too much interest in the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
caters to that need by giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
news and gossip.
Moreover
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
should be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To illustrate that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
followers will influence the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, youngsters by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
being kind, honest, creative and dynamic on the internet is one of their responsibilities with the public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their fans will imitate their idols.
For instance
, Taylor Swift inspired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by her music and her contributions to the public
also
.

In conclusion
, although there are valid reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more privacy or not, I tend to believe that it is
still
more reasonable
to conclude
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
should have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay It is argued by some people that celebrities should have their own private life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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