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It is a well-known fact that music is a necessary part of our everyday lives and that is why students are teached music in school.

It is a well-known fact that music is a necessary part of our everyday lives and that is why students are teached music in school. On the other hand, there are some people who believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of money and time. There are numerous advantages and disadvantages about this topic most of which will be examined below. First of all, music is has many things to teach to people. Firstly, according to studies music can make someone think faster and have better reflexes, especially if he plays an instrument such as piano, guitar, or violin that requires fast moves of the fingers. Secondly, it is widely known that music connects people and makes them control their feelings and emotions, or even make a relationship because they would find that they have common interests by istening to the same type of music. Furthermore, music should be teached t schools because many times makes children relax from their busy schedules something that is very important for their health. On the other side of the coin, there are some people who believe that music should not be teached in schools. That is why, teaching music requires specific and qualitative equipment which is very costly and such a move may cause even a bankrupt. Moreover, instead of teaching music school may add something else on the programme of its students such as cooking lessons. In this way, students may find out a secret talent of them or learn something that will help them in their adult lifes. To conclude, in my opinion music should be teached in schools, because of all the reasons above. Music is something that can elaborate someone’s character, way of thinking and make him a for-seeing person.
It is a well-known fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a necessary part of our everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
that is
why students are
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “taught”, the past tense form of the verb ‘teach’?
teached
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is a waste of money and time. There are numerous advantages and disadvantages about this topic most of which will
be examined
below.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things to teach to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
, according to studies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
faster and have better reflexes,
especially
if he plays an instrument such as piano, guitar, or violin that requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
of the fingers.
Secondly
, it is
widely
known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
connects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them control their feelings and emotions, or even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a relationship
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would find that they have common interests by
Possible spelling mistake found.
istening
to the same type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
should be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “taught”, the past tense form of the verb ‘teach’?
teached
t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
children relax from their busy schedules
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for their health.

On the other side of the coin, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
should not be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “taught”, the past tense form of the verb ‘teach’?
teached
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
That is
why, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
requires specific and qualitative equipment which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly and such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
may cause even a bankrupt.
Moreover
,
instead
of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
else on the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘programme’ is British English.
programme
of its students such as cooking lessons. In this way, students may find out a secret talent of them or learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their adult
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “lives”, the plural form of the noun ‘life’?
lifes
.

To conclude
, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
should be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “taught”, the past tense form of the verb ‘teach’?
teached
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of all the reasons above.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
that can elaborate someone’s character, way of thinking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
him a for-seeing person.
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IELTS essay It is a well-known fact that music is a necessary part of our everyday lives and that is why students are teached music in school.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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