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It comes as no surprise that we are living in the world of advertisement.

It comes as no surprise that we are living in the world of advertisement. Nowadays, more and more individuals are mesmerized by advertising. Although they attach great significance to communities, it appears to be a negative development which does more harms than goods due to some undeniable adverse ramifications. Admittedly, the first and foremost important stage of a successful purchase is gathering a wealth of information. Advertising agencies have allocated an incredible budget to provide audiences with plenty of informative commercials. Not surprisingly, people’s attention is captured by advertising channels aligned with beneficial information. More importantly, people could easily and briskly compare a massive number of available products in terms of their price and quality. Thus the more possibility of comparison people have, the less probable it is to experience a failure in their purchase. Nevertheless, it is better to do not lose the sight of creating the false need which can be considered by far the biggest blow of advertising. To have a change of heart, this ever-rising trend has people change their routine habits. Placing frequent adverts in mass media, target audiences will have a great tendency to buy a commodity that they may not have needed. Is this case, not only do advertising companies long for people to buy unnecessary goods, but also this never-ending trend will lead to consumerism. Moreover, marketing campaigns too often endeavor to excel at playing a prank on audiences by having celebrities invited to make words of encouragement. Undoubtedly, celebrity endorsement is a kind of trick which obliges residents to buy products that are not as high quality as they predicted to be. This issue becomes even more severe when customers intend to do online shopping. Consequently, if advertising keeps affecting people’s attitude, in the long run, it will have noticeable pitfalls in both people’s consuming habits. To recapitulate, advertising does neither a boon nor a bane to society. However, in spite of its positive implications on people’s awareness, it seems to be a serious threat because of its immense negative effects.
It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
as no surprise that we are living in the world of advertisement. Nowadays, more and more individuals
are mesmerized
by advertising. Although they attach great significance to communities, it appears to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development which does more harms than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
undeniable adverse ramifications.

Admittedly
, the
first
and foremost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
stage of a successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
is gathering a wealth of information. Advertising agencies have allocated an incredible budget to provide audiences with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of informative commercials. Not
surprisingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
attention
is captured
by advertising channels aligned with beneficial information. More
importantly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
easily
and
briskly
compare a massive number of available products in terms of their price and quality.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the more possibility of comparison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have, the less probable it is to experience a failure in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
Nevertheless
, it is better to do not lose the sight of creating the false need which can
be considered
by far the biggest blow of advertising.

To have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of heart, this ever-rising trend has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their routine habits. Placing frequent adverts in mass media, target audiences will have a great tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a commodity that they may not have needed. Is this case, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
long for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
this never-ending trend will lead to consumerism.
Moreover
, marketing campaigns too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
endeavor to excel at playing a prank on audiences by having celebrities invited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
words of encouragement.
Undoubtedly
, celebrity endorsement is a kind of trick which obliges residents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products that are not as high quality as they predicted to be. This issue becomes even more severe when customers intend to do online shopping.
Consequently
, if advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
affecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
attitude, in the long run, it will have noticeable pitfalls in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
consuming habits.

To recapitulate, advertising does neither a boon nor a bane to society.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
implications on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
awareness, it seems to be a serious threat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its immense
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
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IELTS essay It comes as no surprise that we are living in the world of advertisement.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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