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Is society too dependent on computers/phones? What is your opinion?

Is society too dependent on computers/phones? What is your opinion? 3a0PY
Can you live without a phone and the Internet for a month if you get a thousand dollars for it? The American made exactly this experiment for youth in 2016, only 30 people dared to participate in it. According to the results of the research nobody could live over one week, all left despite the such a big money. Although technology has greatly facilitated, society became too dependent on phones and computers. Technology is so firmly entrenched in our daily lives that it is difficult for us to imagine ourselves without them. Without technology, we can neither work, nor travel, nor have fun. Therefore, people have become too dependent on computers. There are a few signs: the person always wants to carry it on, often wants to check emails, will look for it even if the telephone is on his hands. These complexes cause psychological problems, such as insecurity and not self-confidence. Nerves will slowly die and its abilities. Even so, humans and phones have already connected tightly. Being slaves to gadgets makes us sick and robs us of childhood. Psychiatrists believe that this is not just an addiction, but a disease that spreads more and more every day. They called it "Nomophobia. "Nomophobia totally cannot live without their gadgets or will become a psycho. In fact, with this epidemic infected every third human on the planet. Moreover, the kids have also become too reliable on computers, if before they knew a sandbox, seesaw, hide and seek, nowadays their games are PUBG, Dota. Unfortunately, these entertainments make them satisfied and are not giving a chance to feel real childhood's excitements. As a result, it is clear that technology is a disease and thieve which robs our childish feelings. In addition, using online chatting deprives ability of making relationship with others. Nowadays, more and more people have stopped talking face-to-face. Online interaction becomes comfortable, which sets shyness, intransigence and many other complexes. Consequently, making conversation and performance on stage have become a perfect talent. To sum up, a computer or phone is needed every day and any time. Although it plays considerable role, it has made community its slaves. Here is one thing to change machines have to work for people, not people for them.
Can you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and the Internet for a month if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a thousand dollars for it? The American made exactly this experiment for youth in 2016,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dared to participate in it. According to the results of the research nobody could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
over one week, all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
despite the such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
money. Although technology has
greatly
facilitated, society became too dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and computers.

Technology is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
firmly
entrenched in our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
that it is difficult for us to imagine ourselves without them. Without technology, we can neither work, nor travel, nor have fun.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
too dependent on computers. There are a few signs: the person always wants to carry it on,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
emails, will look for it even if the telephone is on his hands. These complexes cause psychological problems, such as insecurity and not self-confidence. Nerves will
slowly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
and its abilities. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, humans and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have already connected
tightly
.

Being slaves to gadgets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us sick and robs us of childhood. Psychiatrists believe that this is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an addiction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a disease that spreads more and more every day. They called it
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nomophobia
.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nomophobia
totally
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
without their gadgets or will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a psycho. In fact, with this epidemic infected every third human on the planet.
Moreover
, the kids have
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
too reliable on computers, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they knew a sandbox, seesaw,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hide and seek
, nowadays their games are PUBG,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dota
. Unfortunately, these entertainments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them satisfied and are not giving a chance to feel real childhood's excitements.
As a result
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that technology is a disease and thieve which robs our childish feelings.

In addition
, using online chatting deprives ability of making relationship with others. Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
talking face-to-face. Online interaction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
comfortable, which sets shyness, intransigence and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other complexes.
Consequently
, making conversation and performance on stage have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a perfect talent.

To sum up, a computer or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is needed
every day and any time. Although it plays considerable role, it has made community its slaves. Here is one thing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
machines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for them.
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IELTS essay Is society too dependent on computers/phones? What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
374 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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