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Some people think students should be encouraged to work or travel after finishing secondary education and before starting university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Share your own experience and examples.

Some people think students should be encouraged to work or travel after finishing secondary education and before starting university. with this statement? Share your own experience and examples. r8al6
A common opinion is learner should be motivated to start their job or visit other places before starting their higher education refuting by many. I, for one, advocate the notion that after completing school is a high time for youngsters to become introduce with the practical life. This essay aims to take a closer look into this controversy. To begin with, some people feel that high school level is not a perfect age to begin job as well as to move new places without parents. However, to me, granted a secondary student is not matured enough to handle any short of situation but they can be skilled by facing real life problems. By gathering new knowledge and experience they can prepare for their future life. A good illustration of this has been found in a report published in New York Times where shown 80% young children of western countries started earn and visited minimum five new places before starting their university life and they were more capable to cope-up with new ambience. On the other hand a sizable minority feels that, obviously maturity level is important to do a good performance and probably after graduation is the best age to start a better career. I personally think, though earlier experience is not vast enough then it can help to adjust with the corporate life. To illustrate -most of the organization prefer to appoint new employee having previous experiences. Previous working knowledge is beneficial for both employer and employee because it helps to understand the organization behaviour. Many employers also prefer travel experience for their business purpose. To sum up, I would like to restate my opinion that previous job and travel experience helps to boost up the future career and it makes a comfort zone in a new work place.
A common opinion is learner should
be motivated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their job or visit other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting their higher education refuting by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. I, for one, advocate the notion that after completing school is a high time for youngsters to become introduce with the practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This essay aims to take a closer look into this controversy.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that high school level is not a perfect age to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
job
as well
as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
without parents.
However
, to me, granted a secondary student is not matured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to handle any short of situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can
be skilled
by facing real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
problems. By gathering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
they can prepare for their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this has
been found
in a report published in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York
It is better to use 'Times' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "Times when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
Times where
shown 80% young children of western countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
earn and visited minimum five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting their university
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they were more capable to cope-up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
ambience.

On the other hand
a sizable minority feels that,
obviously
maturity level is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to do a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
performance and
probably
after graduation is the best age to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a better career. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, though earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is not vast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
then it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to adjust with the corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To illustrate -most of the organization prefer to appoint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
employee having previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
. Previous working knowledge is beneficial for both employer and employee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to understand the organization
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
employers
also
prefer travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
for their business purpose.

To sum up, I would like to restate my opinion that previous job and travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to boost up the future career and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a comfort zone in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
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IELTS essay Some people think students should be encouraged to work or travel after finishing secondary education and before starting university. with this statement? Share your own experience and examples.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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